The Late Unpleasantness

Monday, May 30th, 2022

Published 2 years ago -


by Anna Stolley Persky

 

Dear Dead Grandma,

Maybe you think I’m a loser because I’ve lost another job, but I really wasn’t the right fit for a position investigating environmental damage when I don’t even believe in climate change. Anyway, the EPA cut me loose and gave me my last check and that should last me a few more weeks. I’m going to prove to you up there in Heaven and to everyone down here that there’s a job out there for me yet where I can make a difference. There’s a new governor coming into office, and he says he wants to purge the schools of critical race theory. That’s a cleanup I can get behind. He’s hiring investigators, so I put my resume back into the world, and I’m praying on it. I’m praying hard, just like you taught me.

I miss you so much.

Love, Billy

#

 Eva: r u ok?

Daisy: yeah I’m fine

Eva: r u sure

Daisy: yeah I’m suree

Eva: you look rlly sad, are u sure nothings wrong

Daisy: nothings wrong eva, just tired

Daisy: ms perkins is gonna take ur phone if we don’t stop texting in class

Eva: k just lmk if u wanna talk ab anything (:

#

To: aperkins@lcds.edu
From: proudandloudangrymomma@gmail.com
Subject: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

 

Mrs. Perkins,

Daisy came home from school today, went into her bedroom, and refused to come out, even for dinner. At first, when I asked her what was wrong, she wouldn’t tell me.

It took two hours of me sitting on her bed demanding some answers before she finally said that you told her that white people are bad and responsible for slavery. She said you were reading from a book called “Diary of a Young Slave,” and that it made her feel all hollowed out inside. Did you know that her great great great grandfather was a Confederate soldier? His name was William Barnett, and he was a hero of the Rebellion.

You’re from Boston, right? As a Northerner, you don’t look at the history of the South and the War between the States in the same way we do. My grandfather used to call it the Late Unpleasantness so as not to rile people up with some ugly memories. And yet, here you are, dredging up our history with your judgmental know-it-allness.

What are you going to do next? Are you going to tell Daisy that a man she admires was actually a bad man just because he was a Confederate soldier and owned slaves, like so many other Southerners at that time?

As Sam Stillwater says on his Real Newz show, Educate. Don’t hate. Don’t indoctrinate.

–Mrs. Kristina Davis, mom to Daisy Davis

#

To: proudandloudangrymomma@gmail.com
From: aperkins@lcds.edu
Subject: RE: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

 

Dear Ms. Davis,

I’m so glad to have Daisy in my class. Daisy is a wonderful student, so compassionate and thoughtful. I’m so sorry to hear that Daisy was crying after history class. It’s certainly upsetting that you (and Daisy?) felt like the message from the classroom discussion was that white people are bad. I definitely had no intention of humiliating Daisy or any other student in the class. I didn’t get the impression during class that she felt humiliated. As always, she was an active participant in the discussion, showing empathy towards the story’s narrator and asking important, relevant questions. She did seem upset at certain points in class, but I saw that as a sign of her kind and caring nature.

We are using the Pulitzer Prize-winning “Diary of a Young Slave” in the Virginia Studies part of our curriculum to help the students understand what slavery was like from the perspective of those who endured it. I hope that we can continue our classroom discussions in a way that will allow Daisy to explore her reaction to the book and for every member of the class to contemplate in an age-appropriate way the painful parts of Virginia’s history.  It’s certainly interesting to hear about Daisy’s family history, and I wouldn’t presume to talk about her relatives in my class.

Sincerely, Aline Perkins

#

To: aperkins@lcds.edu
From: proudandloudangrymomma@gmail.com
Subject: RE:RE: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

 

Please refer to me as Mrs. I am not a Ms.

Did you say this book was from the perspective of people who endured slavery? What about the slave owners? Don’t you think they had to endure slavery too? Aren’t they also victims of this time period? They had to own slaves to survive. What about their perspective? Is it only Black people that you care about?

Our history in Virginia is complex. It’s not as simple as right or wrong. You Northerners didn’t need slaves to work plantations. Our cotton crops would have dried in our fields, and would you Northerners have lifted a fingernail to help us out?

It’s well-known that many slave owners were kind and generous. President James Madison, for example, refused to beat his slaves, and instead just separated the mothers from their children and other such kind-hearted punishments. Do you talk about that or just the bad things about slavery?

Stick to teaching the facts, such as the incontrovertible truth that the War Between the States was about states’ rights and Southern economic survival. Don’t go talking about heroes and villains like you understand economic necessity all these years later, when we pay a high salary with our taxes for you to do hardly anything but make little girls cry.

Let me make myself clear.

IF YOU CONTINUE TO MAKE DAISY AND OTHER WHITE CHILDREN FEEL BADLY ABOUT THEMSELVES, I WILL FIND A WAY TO MAKE YOU MISERABLE.

Mrs. Kristina Davis

#

VA Gov. Wilson Strong bans critical race theory, sets up tip line for parents

By Katie Pimlico, Lee County News-Gazette

Virginia Gov. Wilson Strong’s first executive order is intended to ban what his administration has described as “supremely divisive concepts, such as Critical Race Theory” from the Commonwealth’s public schools. In so doing, he fulfilled a campaign promise to be an advocate for parents frustrated over school closures during the pandemic and racial equity policies.

In a press conference in Richmond, surrounded by members of the grass roots organization Mad Mommas Know Best, Strong announced that he’d set up a tip line for parents to report educators who engage in divisive classroom techniques, make their children feel uncomfortable or utilize books with what he described as “concerning content.”

“Let’s talk about what racist means,” said Strong, brandishing a red-white-and-blue flag with the email address parentswinwithstrong@va.gov  printed on it. “It means teaching concepts that deliberately make white kids feel uncomfortable for the color of their skin.”

Locally, many parents cheered Strong’s push against what they describe as “liberal indoctrination.”

“I’m glad we finally have a governor supporting parents,” said parent Kristina Davis.

Sue Francis, chair of the Lee County chapter of Mad Mommas Know Best, said the schools would be safer for white children with Strong’s executive order.

Protesters decried the “dark money” being used to support Mad Mommas Know Best and other parent organizations.

“These groups are funded by right-wing organizations,” said Carla Sato, co-founder of Save Our Schools. “So-called parents like Sue Francis are paid by them with the ultimate goal of silencing our teachers, restricting student access to information, putting our school system into chaos, and then defunding public schools.”

Despite repeated queries to Strong’s press office, it was unclear how and under what authority tips to the email address would be handled.

#

To: parentswinwithstrong@va.gov
From:  proudandloudangrymomma@gmail.com
Subject: Divisive teaching

Dear Gov. Strong,

I would like to report divisive teaching going on at Stonewall Jackson Middle School in Lee County, VA, and specifically the classroom of Aline Perkins. My daughter’s name is Daisy, and she attends this class. Please investigate this teacher and her use of the book “Diary of a Young Slave,” as you promised to do while you were campaigning.

–Mrs. Kristina Davis

#

Investigator William C. Crawford
Office of the Attorney General of the Commonwealth of Virginia
Division of Educational Integrity

 

Received Case #3: “Diary of a Young Slave,” Aline Perkins, Stonewall Jackson Middle School.

Action taken: Travel plans made to visit classroom.

#

Dear Dead Grandma,

You are going to be so proud of me. I got a new job, and it’s not just any job, it’s a really, really important job. I’ve already received my first assignment.

We are making history with this new tip line and investigations into divisive teaching.  According to Sam Stillwater, we may also come across a cadre of pedophiles trying to lure children into deviant ways. If I could catch a pedophile, that would be amazing.

I watch a lot of Youtube videos about pedophiles so I can spot one.

This morning, I had my coffee – white chocolate mocha with two extra shots of espresso – and then Supervisor Aaron Hawke handed me Case #3.

I told Supervisor Hawke that I felt like I’d heard of “Diary of a Young Slave.” I tried to recall when, but I couldn’t.

“Should I read the book?” I asked.

“No need to do that,” Supervisor Hawke said. “Just look it up on Wikipedia. Check out the teacher’s office and see if there are any obvious signs of wokeness, like a Pride flag or Black Lives Matter paraphernalia.”

“Absolutely, sir.” I have been taught my manners (by you, Grandma) and about chain of command. I will make my government proud.

I did enough research to find out that the book is about Abigail, a young girl living on a rice plantation in South Carolina. The book talks about terrible things, such as forced labor, starvation, rape, beatings, and even lynchings. It makes slavery look terrible, and I’m surprised that anyone would want to read about it, let alone teach children about it.

But people have to see the worst in the world, I guess. And dwell in misery.

The book really does sound familiar. I bet if you were around, you would remember, and I so wish you were back on Earth to whisper in my earlobe like the old days.

I’m headed to Lee County tomorrow, and I will see what I can shake loose from a surprise visit to the classroom. Good thing they gave me a badge. That should get me access into the school. I wish they’d given me a gun, but they said there’s a little red tape to that. It should come next week.

I bet you don’t think I’m a loser now.

Love, Billy

#

Eva: wtf is a guy doing in the back of class he has no hair on his head

Daisy: I think ms perkins did smth

Eva: what

Daisy: the book thingy

Eva: ???

Daisy: my mom wrote abt the book

Eva: what book what’s happening

Daisy: my mom’s a bitch

#

Kristina: Daisy? Why aren’t you answering your phone?

Kristina: Can you pick up the phone so I can hear your voice?

Kristina: Can you just tell me you’re OK?

Kristina: You are supposed to be home now. Life 360 has you still at school. Why?

Kristina: I’m calling police.

Daisy: omfg pls stop I’m fine

Kristina: Why won’t you answer my calls?

Kristina: Daisy?

Daisy: Ik you would do smth like this

Kristina: Come home.

Kristina: Daisy?

#

Mad Mommas Know Best, Lee Chapter Facebook Group Page

Description: A group dedicated to ferreting out and exposing critical race theory and other divisive teaching methods in Lee County Public Schools.

Kristina: I did it, everyone! I did it! I got Gov. Strong to send one of his education investigators to my daughter’s school to stop the BS that’s happening in her history class. He should be there today.

Wendy: OMG great work!

Louisa: That’s AMAAAAAZZZZIIIINNNNG!

Sue: Now it’s time for us to take the next steps. You need to testify before the school board. It’ll be played on TV, and the media will start to pick it up.

Kristina: I’m a little worried my daughter will get even more upset. She doesn’t seem to want all this attention. She’s not talking to me right now.

Sue: Oh honey, remember that we know what’s best for our kids. Your kid is not as smart as you. Remember that. Sometimes that makes them mad, but they’ll get over it.

Kristina: But speaking at a school board meeting in front of all those people?  That’s not the kind of thing I normally do.

Sue: Don’t worry about that. I can coach you.

#

Recorded Telephone Message

Office of Gov. Wilson Strong

 

Hi, um, my name is Daisy Davis. My mom, like, I think, she, um, oh Eva what do I say? (indecipherable) Okay, my mom said that my teacher is a bad teacher, but she isn’t. It’s just not true, and my mom – I love her because she’s my mom, but she’s gone all crazy these days thinking that she can tell me what I should and shouldn’t learn in school, but if I just learn what she wants me to learn, won’t I just end up the same as her, and I thought the point of living was to grow better and better, not stay the same? Is anyone ever going to listen to kids or is everyone like my mother and just going to talk about what we should have put in our heads without anyone asking kids what we actually care about and are curious about and think about. I think about things like right and wrong, and I think that sometimes my mom isn’t always right. Can you like call me back or listen to what kids want or something?

#

Public Testimony of Kristina Davis, Lee County Public Schools Board Meeting

Hello, school board members. Hello, America. My name is Kristina Davis, and I am the mother of a seventh grade student at Stonewall Jackson High School. I’m here to tell you that you have a terrible infestation at your schools. You have teachers going outside the bounds of teaching basic facts and instead teaching opinion and their own concept of morality, which translates into calling white children privileged for just being white. Plus they are grooming children. For real.

I am part of an army of parents fighting for parents’ rights.

We want teachers using only books that we have vetted and approved.

We want teachers to post their lesson plans online so we can make sure they aren’t trying to indoctrinate our children with their racist liberal agenda. We want laws, more laws passed to protect our children from these monsters that call themselves teachers.

And we will keep fighting until we are heard.

School Board Clerk: Your time is up. Next speaker?

#

Public Testimony of Aline Perkins, Lee County Public Schools Board Meeting

Honorable school board, I didn’t want to testify, but I thought it was important to speak for teachers and students everywhere who want to shine a light on the past as we move forwards into the future. I have been teaching for thirty years, the last five of them in Lee County. I love my job. I love the awkward, sweet teen years. I love helping my students learn to think about the world around them. I supplement the history and Virginia Studies core curriculum with insightful books and material to keep class relevant and hopefully interesting. I don’t think parents should decide what students can and can’t read in school or micromanage teachers. I want to (BOO!) I want to (BOO) possible (BOO) Freedom of Speech (BOO) some people?

School Board Clerk: I’m sorry. I’m going to ask you to sit down. I can’t hear you over the booing.

School Board Clerk: Could the audience please stop throwing things?

#

Eva: omfg did you see news ur mom was on tv my mom told me so was ms perkins my mom says poor thing

Daisy: I know my mom has gone crazy she’s going to get ms perkins fired

Eva: its messed up

Daisy: meet me outside school tmrw before school bring Charlotte

Eva: why what’s happening

Daisy: got a plan

#

Dear Dead Grandma,

It all went out of control. It’s gone viral. I hope I don’t lose my job.

I went to see Aline Perkins in her classroom yesterday. All I had to do was show my badge, and the school principal led me straight down the narrow hallways to the history class. Unfortunately, instead of the teacher being surprised, I was. Because guess what? I looked at the teacher with her gray curly hair and wide hips, and at first she reminded me of you, and then she reminded me of my seventh grade history teacher because she was, in fact, my seventh grade history teacher. Back then she was Ms. Lowery, and her hair was brown. I wasn’t expecting Aline Perkins to be someone who taught me, given I grew up three counties over with you.

“Billy,” she said.

“Oh my God,” I said, and Grandma, I am so sorry I took the Lord’s name in vain. I thought about how Ms. Lowery used to smile at me and say, “That’s so observant of you, Billy,” and “That’s an interesting point, Billy.”

“It’s nice to see you, Billy,” she said, and I thought it was nice to see her, and then I thought how it wasn’t at all nice to see her under these circumstances. And I thought about how I had an important job to do, and that she could be the enemy that I bring down in triumph, so I said, “I’ll just have a seat.”

Anyway, I looked specifically for a Pride flag, and didn’t find one, but did see posters hung up all over the walls, ones of famous people from Virginia, including George Washington, of course, and Thomas Jefferson. But then there were other posters of Booker T. Washington, Ella Fitzgerald, and even Arthur Ashe. What’s so special about him? Nobody plays tennis anymore.

When she was my teacher, she used to have a poster on the wall of a cat stretched out on a tree branch that said, “Hang in there.”

I’ll tell you what – she didn’t seem all that rattled by my presence. She walked around the classroom, asking the students questions about the book in question and what they thought about the main character and how she must have felt being torn away from her mother as a young girl. Some of the students started crying.

And then I remembered the book. And I remembered crying too.

That is when things really spiraled out, Grandma.

“Did you know that when kids your age used to learn about the Civil War here in Virginia not so very long ago, their textbooks called it the ‘War of Northern Aggression?” she said. “Now we know it’s the Civil War, and we understand that while there were many factors leading to it, at its core was a dispute over slavery.”

Why was it called that?” asked a girl, cocking her head to one side. I could see she had a phone under the desk, the little sneak. “Why did kids learn it as the War of Northern Aggression?”

“Daisy, some people think it was Virginia’s way at that time to downplay slavery’s role in the Civil War,” my old teacher said. “What do you think?”

It’s at this point that I realized that the Daisy being addressed is the Daisy from my file. This girl was the white girl, the victim of discrimination. I felt all twisted inside. I remembered back when Ms. Lowery told me I could do great things. Grandma. Do you recall that you said it was all “poppycock” and that, even though you loved me, I was always going to be just “poor white trash” like my Daddy?

But my old teacher was right, and I decided to prove it.

“Aline Perkins, can I see you outside?” I said.

“Under what authority, Billy?”

At first, I thought this was good news – a chance for me to flex the power of the new Department of Educational Integrity. But then I noticed that the students were pulling out their phones and pointing them in my direction, and my brain went in a million directions as to how this would unfold on social media. And I felt myself sweat because my old gave me that stern eye she used to give me on occasion so many years ago. I felt defiance rising from my chest.

“What do you think, Daisy?” my old teacher said again. ‘why did they call it the War of Northern Aggression?”

“You don’t have to answer her question,” I said to Daisy.

“But sir,” Daisy said, all innocence and hair bow, hands pressed together like she was praying, as one of her friends filmed her. “I want to answer the question,”

She paused dramatically.

“Mister, I don’t know what my mother told you, but I am here to learn, and you can’t stop us.”

“Actually, I can,” I said.

“Daisy, you should sit down,” my old teacher said, which Daisy then did.

But then Daisy put her face into the phone’s camera: “This man from Governor Strong’s office is trying to silence education.”

Some of the other kids cheered. My old teacher made like she wanted to quiet the kids by waving her hands around and saying, “Shhh.”

This kid, this Daisy. She was using it as a moment.

I stood up, shoulders out, like you taught me, Grandma.

I’ll tell you what they aren’t teaching in school these days, and that’s respect.

Daisy gave me the finger. I gave her the finger back. It’s possible that made it to Snapchat and TikTok too.

It wasn’t my best moment, but I hope you forgive me.

Love, Billy

#

Investigator William C. Crawford
Office of the Attorney General of the Commonwealth of Virginia
Division of Educational Integrity

Case #3: “Diary of a Young Slave,” Aline Perkins, Stonewall Jackson Middle School.

Action taken: Violation of Educational Integrity Report filed. Referred to Criminal Division. Minor incident with student.

#

Gov. Strong responds to video of education investigator giving obscene gesture to student

By Katie Pimlico, Lee County News-Gazette

Virginia Gov. Wilson Strong commented for the first time on a viral video depicting an investigator from the newly created Division of Educational Integrity making an obscene gesture to a Stonewall Jackson middle school student. The video depicting William C. Crawford of Richmond putting up his middle finger in a classroom filled with children has been viewed five million times since initially being posted on TikTok two days ago.

“An obscene gesture in front of children is never the best approach in an education setting or even a noneducational setting,” said Strong, after signing an executive order banning public schools from teaching students about birth control other than abstinence.

“While our investigator appears to have responded poorly, he was put in a humiliating position by a teacher who failed to control her class,” Strong said. “In addition, the investigation has revealed that the teacher was attempting to indoctrinate her students with her liberal agenda. She reflects poorly on her school, Lee County and all of Virginia public education. We’re weighing filing criminal charges against the teacher involved in the incident.”

Strong said he plans to support a bill to decrease funding for public schools and increase incentive for creating a system of for-profit schools.

“It’s clear that our public school system is failing us,” Strong said. “Parents need choice so they can pick schools that reflect their values.”

#

Ms. Perkins:

It is with regret that, as principal, I must inform you that your employment at Stonewall Jackson Middle School has been terminated effective immediately. We wish you the best in your retirement.

Sincerely,

Dr. Lawrence Pugh

#

Transcript from “UnCivil Wars in Schools” Segment, Sam Stillwater’s Real Newz Show

Sam Stillwater: Well, well, well. Virginia may not be for lovers anymore. It may be for haters. By now y’all must have seen the video gone viral of a Virginia officer investigating hate crimes against white students in Lee County, Virginia. If you haven’t, here it is.

(pause for video)

Sam: Crazy, right? Who gives the finger to a kid? But here’s the real story behind the video, and you’ll only learn the truth here because the liberal media won’t show it to you. The real truth….Let me introduce you to William Crawford, valiantly fighting on behalf of Virginia to preserve Southern culture, who was trapped and provoked by a mob of children and a teacher-gone-bad, and Kristina Davis, the plucky and distraught mom you just can’t help but to love. Hello, William.

Crawford, staring dazed into the camera: SamIamjustsohappytobehereonthisshow.

Sam: That’s great. And we’re happy to have you here.

Kristina: Oh me too. I’m so excited to share my story and to meet you, William, and also tell you how sorry I am that you got caught in that crazy fray.

Sam: A fracas. No, worse than a fracas. A gang bang.

Crawford: Uh.

Kristina: Oh, except my daughter was there, and she really isn’t a gang member or anything.

Crawford: Uh.

Sam: Here’s the thing about this incident. It is just more evidence that schools are out of control across the country, and it takes strong parents to get involved. I love how Virginia is giving you a say in education. And you, Kristina, you got that crazy liberal teacher fired. You are a national hero.

Kristina, beaming: Am I?

 #

Kristina: Daisy, where are you?

Kristina: Daisy, where are you?

Daisy: I’m so mad at u mom and can’t believe u were on tv like that I can’t face the kids at school

Kristina: I guess your little stunt in school backfired.

Daisy: u don’t get it I rlly liked ms perkins and u ruined everything

Kristina: I should be mad at you for how you acted towards that man doing his job, but I forgive you.

Daisy: don’t forgive u

Kristina:  I know things have been challenging and unpleasant lately, and I’m really sorry about that. But I do know what’s best for you, and someday you’ll understand that.

Kristina: Daisy? I did this for you. You were crying, remember? YOU WERE CRYING.

Kristina: Daisy?

#

Dear Dead Grandma,

Appearing on the Sam Stillwater show was an exhilarating experience, that’s all I can say. I met with Kristina Davis in the green room which isn’t green, by the way. The producer put us together after we got on makeup. I know! They put me in makeup, but when I saw myself later on the show, I had to admit that I looked better, even stronger, my jaw line more pronounced with the makeup. I wonder if Sam will ask me back.

I did not lose my job after all. In fact, Supervisor Hawke told me I did a “bang up” job and said that I made the governor very proud.

I do think about my old teacher. If the criminal division decides to charge her, she could go to prison for the felony of teaching inherently divisive concepts in school.

Sometimes I feel badly for her, but I am proud of myself too. She’s probably proud of me too when you think about it. She said she believed I could make the world a better place, and here I am doing just that.

Love, Billy

#

Dear Dr. Pugh,

I am deeply saddened that you have chosen to terminate my employment. All I ever wanted to do was teach. All I did here was teach about slavery.  We teach our students that bullying is wrong. Yet your actions today will set an example that bullying teachers works. What is the message we’re sending to the next generation? I hope that you and everyone who keeps silent thinks about that.

Sincerely,

Aline Perkins

#

Eva: the new teacher looks like Bernie Sanders LOL I’m so bored

Daisy:  ha ha

Eva: r u ok?

Daisy: yeah I’m fine

Eva: r u sure

Daisy: no not sure abt anything

Eva: ur mom is super famous now

Daisy: ik

Eva: kinda nice we don’t have to read sad stuff boring but at least I don’t feel like history is so depressing maybe ur mom was right

Daisy: she’s buying me those nike air forces I wanted now

Eva: it’s all going to be fine I know

Daisy: and airpods and a trip to the beach

#

Dear Dead Grandma,

I got my next case. A teacher in Jefferson County Public Schools is trying to force children to use all sorts of pronouns that God did not intend people to use. I leave tomorrow morning.

Maybe I’ll let Sam Stillwater know about this latest case – it’s good to keep the media on your side. The power has shifted. I can feel it from my liver to my bones. I reverberate it.

Maybe Gov. Strong will run for president and take me with him, and we can take back the whole country.

Wouldn’t that be something?

Love, Billy


Anna Stolley Persky, a lawyer and award-winning journalist, lives in Northern Virginia. She’s pursuing an MFA in Creative Writing at George Mason University. Her fiction has been published in Mystery Tribune, The Write Launch, VOIS, and The Plentitudes Journal. Her poetry has been published in the Sad Girls Club Literary Blog, You Might Need to Hear This, Washington Writers’ Publishing House, and The Closed Eye Open. Her creative nonfiction has been published in The Washington Post.


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