The Art of the Kneel

By Martin H. Levinson

Nothing can stop Donald Trump as he heads to a third term in the White House. That includes bullets, which were deterred from killing Trump by God, a Trump worshipper who follows his hero on Truth Social. That includes being convicted in New York City on 34 felony counts involving financial fraud, which angels on the Supreme Court kept from having any real impact. That includes having to run against an opponent who likes to tell the truth about what is going in the country, which shows she has a lousy imagination and no interest or talent in becoming a cult leader.

Trump is cruising to another electoral landslide victory, like the last two sweeps he made in 2016 and 2020 when Trump won the general election by more than 400 million votes and the electoral college 981-2. With J.D. Vance as his running mate—the J stands for “Just Fabulous” and the D stand for “Don’t I look great”—this ticket can’t lose, at least not in the traditional sense of that word.

Trump is making big sacrifices to run for president because, as his son Don, Jr. told us at the Republican convention, he could be doing other things. That is so very true. He could be relaxing, cheating, and playing golf on a course that he owns; he could be opening a university to scam students interested in getting a degree in real estate, he could be selling steaks, bibles and tickets for tours of Mar-a-Lago, he could be sitting at home eating Big Macs while watching reruns of The Apprentice. Trump could be doing a million and one fun things. but he is too much of a patriot to do them. He is driven by his desire to make America Great Again, which will only happen if he gets to serve a third term.

One of the reasons Trump will win is because he is a consummate entertainer, which is the thing to be in an era when people are looking for diversions and distancing from the hassles and horrors of everyday life. No one wants to hear someone running for office yakking about policy points and giving detailed plans about how to improve the country. We want politicians to say dumb and goofy things we can all laugh about. Who better to do that than a pussy-grabbing, lie-right-to-your-face, tanned-blonde, behemoth-insurrectionist like Donald Trump.

November is right around the corner and Trump is going to need your vote. I’m kidding, of course. With the Supreme Court and Republican election officials in his pocket, Trump is guaranteed a third term no matter what the outcome in the electoral college. So sit back, flip on FOX, get out your Trump Bible, and enjoy the coming coronation of a secular saint. “Hail to the Thief!”—the man every guy in America would like to emulate, every woman would like to sleep with, and every transgendered person is freaked out about, the one, the only Donald J. (the “J” stands for Jesus) Trump.