By D.J. Rosenthal

Are you and your unpublished manuscript having a lull in your relationship? If your manuscript is just not emotionally available, you might be wanting different things from each other. Do you need more of a sense of fulfillment from your pages but they won’t take your hints? If you just can’t be your true authentic self with what you have written, maybe it’s time to reassess your relationship. Here are six tips that might help.

1. Try having a meaningful conversation with your pages about the status of your relationship. It’s easy to ignore problems that arise and to keep pretending that your emotional connection is fine. Do you trust each other and are you working together as a team? Often the early infatuation between you and your words wears off, but that doesn’t have to be a sign of incompatibility.
2. Determine whether you are spending enough quality time together. Alone time is beneficial for both of you, but withdrawing from each other is not healthy. Have you enjoyed going out alone, or is your manuscript always coming with you in a tiresome way? Time spent together needs to be harmonious and endorphin-producing.
3. Develop a culture of appreciation. Find things to praise about your manuscript. Accept its flaws with respect. Be sure to praise your manuscript when you identify something you like about it, like the placement of semicolons.
4. Assess why you keep wanting to change things about your manuscript. Is the spark gone? Maybe your constant deleting or “search and replace” actions means that your values just don’t line up. You must decide whether your incompatibilities are something you can live with, or if they are deal breakers. Can you agree to disagree?
5. Try to discern if your manuscript wants you to put yourself second in this relationship. Does it want more stability and less criticism? Does your gut tell you that your manuscript thinks you are trying too hard to micromanage its emotions?
6. Confide in a trusted friend. Do you feel comfortable introducing your manuscript to your friend group? A dear friend will reflect back to you if you feel insecure or ashamed when introducing your manuscript to your social circle.

Asking these tough questions about your emotional connection to the thousands of words you have generated is not fun. If after reassessing your relationship with your manuscript, you determine that your futures do not line up, it might be time to break up. And look forward to your next deep connection with more blank pages ready to be filled.

D.J. Rosenthal is an English professor at a midwestern university and is not always serially monogamous with her manuscripts.