by William Vaillancourt

“Thanks to the hard work of Rev MLK Jr. and others, growing up in Georgia, I’ve seen the beautiful fruit that blossomed from the Civil Rights Era, where segregation ended & equality began. Today, I believe we are seeing a new segregation and discrimination beginning, wrongfully forced upon unvaccinated Americans by the tyrants of the Democrat Party.” — Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA), 1/17/22

Get a load of this: Big cities across the country now have vaccine mandates that they say will help slow the spread of covid. In other words, they’re canceling the unvaccinated. These are not just unnatural and unhealthy mandates — they’re prejudiced, too. In fact, this whole situation reeks of one of the worst evils in our country’s past: segregation.

As Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” Right now, that injustice is being perpetuated against a big chunk of the adult population, myself included. The number is about 13% — the same percentage of Black people in this country when Jim Crow laws were being passed left and right. Coincidence? Hardly.

This might go without saying, but since I’m sick of being muzzled by masks and censored by social media, I’m going to say it anyway: We haven’t done anything bad. All we’ve done is refuse to get the vaccine because we don’t think it’s safe for us. That just so happens to be how a lot of Black churchgoers felt after the KKK bombed that Baptist church in Birmingham in 1963. Back then, the authorities said not to worry. They say the same thing now. But the danger is real.

So it’s for a damn good reason that we’ve resisted the jab. Resist. Isn’t that what Elizabeth Warren wants? I feel nauseated by the hypocrisy. Or maybe it’s covid — not like that’s a big deal or anything! I probably wouldn’t die, and any other outcome isn’t worth fretting over. Whatever it is, I’d just ride it out, which is fine because I’ll still be living in the land of the free. That might not make me popular, but the Freedom Riders had plenty of enemies too.

Some of us have even identified as vaccinated, which should put us in the clear, according to “woke” Twitter. Yet for no good reason, our fake CDC cards are being tossed out as if they were Black applicants’ home loan paperwork way back when. It’s a disgrace. But the people in charge don’t care, as long as they keep us out of restaurants, gyms, and theaters. Sound familiar? And even if we do get vaccinated, who says they won’t try to trip us up by having us answer trick questions like, “Who won the last presidential election?” That’s no different than Black voters having to take those literacy tests that were so confusingly worded that they were impossible to pass.

This is all taking a big toll on our peace of mind. If there’s anything that’s being overstressed right now, it’s that, not hospitals. This “surge” in covid cases is exactly what they’re there for. Plus, hospitals make good money whenever one of us goes to the emergency room, just as they did when civil rights activists had to get stitched up after fighting off Bull Connor’s attack dogs.

How we’re going to make it through these next few years, I don’t know. When we get a real president again, he should send in the Army to keep us from being harassed when we go into town. Don’t get me wrong: I’m still a firm believer in states’ rights, but this is too important. And just like in Little Rock in 1957, they should come with us when we go to school — when we go into school libraries, specifically, because we aren’t even close to being done scouring the shelves for obscene books that might endanger our children.

In the meantime, there’s been talk of a second March on Washington. Someone on Parler named “PureBlood_GorillaMindset” first alerted me to it. Since word got out, though, I’ve seen plenty of mean, racist comments about it from the Fauci cartel. They say it’ll be the “Starch on Washington,” or the “March on Washington, Part Duh.” They’re entitled to their opinion, even though it’s nothing to take pride in. It’s cyber bullying, actually, and it’s really just the modern day equivalent of using fire hoses on members of the NAACP. It’s just as degrading, just as terrorizing, and — before our tears have dried — just as wet. But we won’t be deterred.

So if that march ever happens, I’ll be sure to go. I’m already familiar with the city, having been there once before, a little over a year ago. Just like then, it’ll be a positive, welcoming environment, with all races, all ages, and all lengths of hair. And just like then, if anyone calls for a hanging, that’ll be the work of Democrats trying to make us look bad. And given their track record of lynchings from Reconstruction through the ’60s, who’d be surprised if they went back to the noose to enforce their backwards ways? Not me — I know my history.

Editor’s note: This is a satirical work.

William’s humor writing has appeared in Weekly Humorist, Robot Butt and Points in Case, among other places. Coincidentally, it has not appeared in other places as well.