By Tim Koechlin

“Not only do we have the DC jail which is the DC gulag, but now we have Nancy Pelosi’s gazpacho police spying on members of Congress, spying on the legislative work that we do, spying on our staff and spying on American citizens.” —Marjorie Taylor Greene

Imagine a restaurant inspired by Greene’s comment:

Greene Cuisine: Trattoria Totalitaria

“Our motto and our mission: Great food, and surveillance with a smile!”

Menu

Breakfast

Guantanamo Bacon and Eggs

Luft Waffles

Lunch

Stop and Frisée Salad

Republican Garden Salad

Soviet Onion Rings

Stale Bread and Water (with olive oil, butter or Marjorie)

J. Edgar Hoagie

Dinner

Molotov Cocktail.

Chilled Gestapo (with a dollop of sour cream)

Illegal Search and Caesar Salad

KG Beet Salad

Somozas with Tamarind Chutney

Mussolini in white clam sauce

Panko Incarcerated Salmon

Pol Pot Pie

Dessert

Blueberry Blintzkriegs

Chocolate Mussolini

Stalinzer Torte

ICE Cream (vanilla only)

Wire Tapioca Pudding

Yellow Cake from Niger (when available)

TUESDAY SPECIAL

Buy one meal at full price, and we’ll detain one guest without charges!

In a rush? No time to sit? We also have fascist food to go!

Bon appétit!