by Martin H. Levinson

Driving home with her in his limited-edition onyx-black Bentley Mulliner Bacalar, with its signature 6.0 liter, W12 turbocharged engine that can deliver 650 horsepower and 664 pound-feet, he felt confident things would go well in the bedroom. How could they not? She seemed charmed with him when they went to Columbus Circle for dinner at Per Se, where they dined on Japanese Hamachi Tartare, Diamond-H Ranch quail breast, Hudson Valley Moulard duck foie gras, prime rib of Elysian Fields farm lamb, and a host of other delectable comestibles. She had laughed at his jokes and praised his wardrobe, which was indeed worthy of acclaim.

That night he had chosen to wear a sable black Brioni bespoke suit made from the blends of some of the rarest fibers in the world, with stitching in white gold. A shiny black Cartier crocodile and palladium belt lined with 70 small pyramids of 18-carat gold held up his pants. His shirt was a powder blue, Luigi Borrelli, Sea Island, Shahtoosh, extra-long staple, Nepalese cotton number, which he complemented with Bulgari diamond rose-gold cufflinks and a Stefano Ricci rep tie made of pure Lotus and Mulberry silk, fashioned from 150 grams of gold edged with streaks of emerald and dementoid garnets. The shoes he donned were a pair of Tom Ford Pink Star, Cullinan diamond loafers customized by Oscar de la Renta, Christian Louboutin, and Yves St. Laurent.

She was his peer in lavish attire. Her Imperial red, Dita von Teese dirndl dress, made of silk satin, was ornamented with Zari embroidery, 1,000 pearls, and 150,000 Swarovski crystals. It was a stunner, and her Salvatore Ferragamo scarlet satin stiletto-heel shoes adorned with rubies, rhinestones, and red beryl were equally a wow. Floral Van Cleef and Arpels ear clips crafted in 18-karat white gold and set with high-quality, round, brilliant-cut diamonds dangled from her earlobes and her fingers were adorned with rings that featured jadeite, sapphire, alexandrite, musgravite, black opal, and tanzanite gemstones. Guerlain KissKiss Gold and Diamonds lipstick, which she applied from a case adorned with 110 grams of solid 18-carat yellow gold, paved with a rain of 199 diamonds of 2.2 carats, provided the perfect accompaniment to her opulent garb.

When they reached her apartment, she asked him if he would like a drink. He said he wouldn’t mind having some Macallan Fine & Rare Vintage Single Malt Scotch Whisky, and she replied, “Coming up.” While he was sipping his scotch she excused herself to put on something more comfortable and when she returned he could see she had done that. In place of her eveningwear she was sporting a Karolina Kurkova balconette-style hearts-on-fire fantasy bra, adorned with 2,000 perfectly cut diamonds and a 42-carat emerald brooch at the center, along with a Kiki De Montparnasse enchanted G-string yellow-gold beaded lace thong.

He asked her if it would be okay for him to remove his clothes, too, and she nodded in assent. So he stripped down to his Derek Rose Bailey pure silk classic boxers and they both climbed onto her Jado Steel Style Gold bed that was covered with Charlotte Thomas 1000-thread sheets made of 22-karat gold directly woven into fabric crafted from the finest merino wool, backed with a silk jacquard, added to high-quality Egyptian cotton. The pillowcases were made of the same material.

She flipped on the TV remote and the show that popped up on the Bang & Olufsen Beovision, 580-pound, 103-inch TV-screen that hung on the opposite wall from the bed was “The Secret Lives of the Super Rich,” the sight of which put them both over the edge. After screaming, “That’s the way I want to live” and “You can never be too rich or too decked out,” they orgasmed simultaneously and apart from each other.

They cleaned up with some “forget-me-not-flower” Jūnihitoe tissues, which in Japan have been described as “vibrantly dyed, soft, and delicate, with a quality feel and texture of a traditional Washi paper,” and a couple of D. Porthault, 65-gram, Egyptian cotton, double-rolled, hand-sewn, scalloped-edged towels. Then, tired from their sexual exertions, they fell asleep in each other’s arms, secure in the knowledge that if the stains on the sheets from their climaxes could not be fully removed in the laundry, they could ask one of their houseboys to just order new ones.