DRAFT COPY SECRETLY OBTAINED: Hard hitting letter by Humanities faculty at a major American university

Since the eruption last summer of protests against police violence, American university campuses have been roiled by student unrest. The following draft letter, written in solidarity with protesters, was obtained from a colleague in a humanities department at a prominent university – here named Midwestern University. The internal discussion revealed by the highlighted edits and corrections may prove useful to other university departments as they compose their own statements in support of student protests. Note: The names of the administrators of Midwestern U have been changed to protect the authors from retribution.

DRAFT COPY WITH CORRECTIONS:

Dear President Moriarty and Campus Community,

We, [CORRECT GENDER PRONOUN? WHY NOT THE TRANS “THEY”?] the faculty a bare majority of Full Professors but no Assistant or Associate Professors since they are concerned about tenure and promotion, express our solidarity with modest admiration for peaceful protests against racist violent/problematic unhelpful policing at Midwestern University [DO WE HAVE TO NAME OUR UNIVERSITY? WON’T IT HURT GRAD STUDENT RECRUITMENT?]. We especially extend our support to those demanding the defunding of police departments [CAN’T SAY THIS: PROFESSOR DIXON’S UNCLE IS A COP!] admire the courageous student members of the Midwestern University No Cops Here (MUNCH) coalition. Racist Unhelpful policing puts our students, staff and colleagues of color at risk may make some especially sensitive people feel unsafe. In addition, it impedes our teaching and imperils/hurts affects our scholarship, though we are each extremely productive, publishing books with prestigious, academic presses such as Yale and Princeton, and many articles – at least one per year – in peer reviewed journals. We [THEY?] condemn anti-Blackness [ARE WE SURE THEY WANT TO BE SINGLED OUT?] and all other kinds of racist/problematic unhelpful behavior on campus, whether experienced in the form of racist/bad/unhelpful inappropriate policing, administration policy (well-intentioned though it is!), or as a consequence of the history, culture, and financial investments [WILL WE GET BLAMED FOR A DIP IN THE ENDOWMENT?] of Midwestern University.

We [THEY?] further call for the immediate resignation of President Moriarty, Provost Van Helsing, and Vice President Ravelstein formation of a campus-wide committee on Fairness and Diversity (FAD) to immediately address the full list of some of the concerns outlined in a recent letter by ourcomrades/ colleagues fellow [MASCULINIST?] faculty in the Department of African American Studies, though not their [OUR?] demand for President Moriarty’s resignation or their [OUR?] calls for defunding the police, or divestment from private prison corporations, arms manufacturers, and the fossil fuels industry.  We [THEY?] expect nothing less than swift and decisive carefully calibrated action to address anti-Black [ARE WE SURE ABOUT THIS?] and other forms of institutional racism/problematic unhelpful behavior at Midwestern University and pledge to unite work in whatever way we [THEY?] can as individuals in support of anti-racist actions fairness and diversity. And helpfulness.

In Solidarity, Sincerely yours [THEIR’S?],

Members (except the untenured Assistant professors and Associate professors hoping for promotion) of the XXXX department at Midwestern University

Submitted to The Satirist by: Stephen F. Eisenman

Stephen F. Eisenman is Professor of Art History at Northwestern University and the author of  ten books including Gauguin’s Skirt (Thames and Hudson, 1997), The Abu Ghraib Effect (Reaktion, 2007) and The Cry of Nature: Art and the Making of Animal Rights (Reaktion, 2015). He has published political criticism in Counterpunch. His chapbook titled American Fascism Now (2020), illustrated by Sue Coe, was recently published by Rotland Press.