Democracy Sucks

By Martin H. Levinson

The McCourtney Institute for Democracy’s most recent Mood of the Nation Poll conducted in mid-November 2022 found that Millennials, and especially, Gen-Zers, are disappointed in American democracy and that “dictatorship could be good in certain circumstances.” Actually, dictatorship is good in all circumstances, and way better than democracy. Here’s why.

Democracy is based on the rule of the people, which assumes the people know how to rule. Have you ever met the people? What a bunch of total A-hole losers—yelling and pushing on crowded commuter trains, hurling obscenities at each other during public meetings, drinking too much at Happy Hour, binging on vacuous and valueless TV series, radiating road rage on the nation’s highways. This bunch of ignorant, out-of-control fools selects their nation’s leaders who, given the limited intellectual capacity of the cretins doing the selecting, are not exactly the best and the brightest.

Democracy is costly. To run elections the government’s got to hire poll workers, pay to get ballots printed, and keep public buildings open past the time they would normally close. A dictatorial system, by removing the need for elections, does away with all these pricy impediments and allows people to move on with their lives and not be encumbered by having to take time off from whatever they are involved with to think about who is running the government.

Political polarization is a hallmark of democracies, which one can see in social media groups that encourage their members to dis their political rivals, cable talk shows that disparage and make fun of the other side, and demonstrations full of whack-jobs wanting to wipeout those that don’t get with their program. All this discord leads to bad blood and civic unrest, conditions that are not countenanced in dictatorships, as outward displays of rancor and rowdiness against the ruler are rigorously and roughly put down. Among autocrats the rule is, “Spare the tanks, spoil the people.”

Then there’s the issue in democracies of having to consider minority rights. What a cockamamie, makes-no-sense notion that is. The essence of democracy is majority rule. Minorities, like children, should be seen and not heard. If you are part of a minority and want something don’t whine about it. Build a majority by convincing enough people to side with you. Then, because you have a majority, you can get what you desire. Better than that, screw the convincing. Take control of the military to grant you your wishes. That’s what dictators do, and the upshot is they don’t have to hassle or deal with minorities, or majorities. In the words of Mel Brooks, “It’s good to be the king.”

Democracies are inefficient and make it hard to get things done, as people are forever hashing things out, arguing with each other over nothing, raising opposing viewpoints, and digging in their heels. Dictators simply decide what should be done and do it. To wit, Mao Zedong collectivized China’s farms when he was in power, as did Stalin in Ukraine. Millions died because of their decisions but at least they were made without endless back and forth and to-and-froing. Better to die of starvation than get jerked around by leaders who, because they operate in a system where everyone gets their two cents, they can’t get off the dime.

The Economist recently downgraded the United States from a full democracy to a flawed democracy. A lot of folks bemoaned this “demotion,” believing it meant democracy might be on the way out in America. But that’s good news. If democracy in America is heading to the door there’s an increased chance it will be replaced with, to use the terminology of the Economist’s Democracy Index, an “authoritarian regime” that will do away with the trappings of democracy, or at least severely limit them. What a joy that would be. One nation, indivisible, under God, with liberty and justice for none except those the dictator chooses. That’s a far better way to rule than the namby-pambyism found in democracies with their time-wasting, politically correct, woke emphasis on equity and fair play. Democracy sucks. To couch it more politely, in the immortal words of two great leaders, Atilla the Hun and Vlad the Impaler, “E pluribus, screw ’em!”