Florida Department of Elder Care
Encounter Notes: 12 September 2021
Client: Alida Jones, 91

Patient is a resident of the Margaritaville Retirement Dome and presented with vertigo, dehydration, and mental confusion; transported to Medical Department via Ambu-Drone; intake time 15:32.

Patient was rescued from autonomous vehicle which had been whirling in a tight circle, in front of her dwelling, for in excess of five hours, the result of her endless shouted repetition of the destination instruction: Celexa, Turn Left! which she steadfastly believed would eventually induce the car to exit her driveway.

It did not.

Presentation is identical to similar cases, currently seen at a rate of about 5-6 per month, in which injuries to the elderly result from communication failures involving interface with semi-autonomous support technologies.

No one was notified for several hours, though vehicle behavior was readily apparent to other members of the community.  “We really don’t like her very much,” a number of her neighbors offered in explanation.

Disposition: Ms. Jones has been remanded to Tech Interface Re-Training Camp until such time as she is able to figure out the sequence of commands which will allow her to return to her dwelling.

ADDENDUM

Notes on Injury Trends: While dehydration is assumed to be the result of time spent locked in vehicle, it is also possible that this was a knock-on consequence from another communication failure in which, according to surveillance logs, Ms. Jones yelled “Zyprexa, I don’t want any more fucking juice!” at her refrigerator, subsequent to which the device seems to have withheld all fluids for a period in excess of two weeks.

We see this as similar to the recent incident, in an adjacent retirement dome, in which a resident was drowned by a pool-cleaning device after allegedly yelling, “You missed a spot you idiot chlorinated bucket of bolts!”

In both cases, rather than communication failures, we would characterize the above as instances of bullying—or, at the very least, extreme incivility—and feel that, having been attacked, both devices behaved reasonably.