By Steven Michaels

18 February 2017

Blue states hate me! Mick Mulvaney, where’s my inauguration band?
Crazy eyed, party lines, we’ll tarry our four year plans!
Pudzerino, you must have known, oh, there’d be dancing in the land!
And now it’s all ME, always been ME, tiny hands are all I have!

Leftist freaks, out in the streets
Holding pickets out for me
Turning back, I’ll just laugh!
(The National Mall looks kinda sad.)

Bannon, man, he makes his stand
In the auditorium!
Looking on, I sing my songs:
The words you know, (but nothin’ will come).

But oh how it sounds so real
Listening to my campaign spiel
Only ME, and you can hear me
When I say softly, slowly:

Look how small my tiny hands are!
Tell the heads of states, I did it my way!
Sway me not on immigration
I’ve had a busy day today!

Russia speaks, while I just tweet
Michael Flynn is such a cad!
Turn your backs; Putin laughs:
The Cold War was not so bad!

Bannon, man, he makes a stand
On the shoulders of the Man!
Betsy, hon, she tweets it wrong!
There just typos, where they comin’ fwom?

But out how it seems surreal
Being here on the office seal:
Only Me!  Approvals will increase
While I sing softly, slowly:

Look how small my tiny hands are!
Tell the heads of states, I did it my way!
Sway me not of immigration
I’ve had a busy day today!

Look how small my tiny hands are!
Tell the heads of states, I did it my way!
Sway me not of immigration
I’ve had a busy day today!

Steven Michaels was a hopeless and optimistic fool until the recent election.  He is the author of Sweet Life of Mystery: The Misadventures of a Panicky Private Eye, a parody of the genre in case the title didn’t give it away! He is currently working on an anthology with other local authors in Western Massachusetts, along with independent work on his grandmother’s memoir, which he has vowed not to publish until at least three or four family members forget he exists.