19 June 2015

AMSTERDAM – An international survey of satirists has found that an overwhelming majority consider themselves “morally superior” to the rest of humanity.

The survey, conducted by The Satirist, found that more than 87% of 2,000 self-identified satirists worldwide agreed with the statement: “Satirists are morally superior beings who serve the indispensible function of ridiculing the moral failings of others.”

Many satirists expressed agreement with the survey’s findings.

“Indeed, the rest of humanity falls far short of the high moral standards and intellectual superiority of satirists,” said Abe Wiseman of The Turnip, a well-known satirical site.

“We sit atop humanity like a colossus,” continued Wiseman. “How could the world even function without our brilliant sarcasm? People would remain forever blind to their moral failings, especially when we enrage them by ridiculing their most sacred beliefs. That is a real service to all humanity.”

Candy Borewits, satirist at The Neo-New New Yorker, agreed: “These survey results are no shocker. Satirists stand in relation to the rest of humanity as humans stand in relation to the animal kingdom. If you are not a satirist and you cannot comprehend this comparison, it simply means that satirists are better than you. Sorry, I know it’s not politically correct to say such things out loud, but it’s true,” affirmed Borewits.

Edgar Head, satirist-in-chief at Satire World stated: “It’s nice to know you can bring a little laughter into the world at somebody else’s expense. While some people find it gauche to trample upon the most sacred beliefs of others, as long as you do it in the name of satire, then it’s OK and even commendable.”

“Personally, I love making fun of how stupid Christianity is,” continued Head. “Greek myths actually make more sense. So I think of it as a public service when I exercise my free speech to ridicule Christianity. If I say ‘Jesus loved to bang Mary Magdalene’ in a satirical work, I do that out of my love for Christians, no matter how ignorant and undeserving of my love they may be. I’m sure Christians will understand.”

Dan Geddes, founding editor of The Satirist, expressed his surprise at the survey’s results. “I thought that satirists would be more aware of their own flaws and moral failings. In fact, satirists are no better than anyone else. Their gift for irony is both a gift and a curse.”

The Satirist neither endorses nor contests the results of the survey.

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See also: Sat-Critters: the Pathetic Lives of Satirists and Critics