It’s that time of year again when people across America are scrambling to throw together a last second costume for Halloween that’s sure to strike fear into the hearts of friends and strangers alike. We’re here to shake off the cobwebs and scare up some ideas that will have everyone cowering and cringing! Our team has come up with frightening takes on some all time favorites. Try them out – if you dare…

1)  Biosphere Ballerina:  Climate Ball Change!

We are all going down in flames, so why not go out in style? Jazz up the self-imposed destruction of the only known currently habitable planet for humans with some of your favorite dance moves while dressed as a planet suffocating from carbon emissions. In point shoes. Pas de bourrée your way to the end of breathable air! Chassé your way to the end of drinkable water! Tombé and assemble your way through ever increasing incidence of unsurvivable natural disasters! Feel free to improvise.

2)  Teenage Mutant Ninja McConnell

Cowabunga! Everyone’s favorite green guys are back, but this time, they’ve left compassion and self-respect in the sewers! All the fun of TMNT with none of the concern over the welfare of the general public. Especially handy for parents on candy duty with a sweet tooth – when trick or treaters show up at the door, just give the candy to yourself.

3)  Limp Lion

Everyone loves a kid in a cute fluffy animal costume! This year, why not take things up a notch by teaming up for a father and daughter costume sure to leave everyone nauseated? Dads, dress up as a sport hunter with a high powered rifle and drag your daughter’s limp lion carcass from door to door. When your neighbors open the door, ask them to take your photo next to your daughter’s slumped and bloodied body. And don’t forget to smile!

4)  Klownye West

Fear of clowns is nothing compared to the rambling, incoherent nonsense that will come out of your mouth when you show up to the party sporting a tattered designer t-shirt, a bright red hat, and the glazed over googly-eyed look of a rapper a precarious grip on his sanity! Lull your friends into a catatonic state while you explain to them the finer points of the history of slavery and then expose them to your philosophy of life until they lose all sense of reality!

5)  Mueller Mime

There’s always been something slightly unsettling about mimes. Is it the pale look of exhaustion? The melancholy brought about by the constant ridicule they must endure? Or is it the silence…the long, painful silence which preys upon our patience and our very will to live? This one is not for the faint of heart.

6) The Ghost of Human Decency

When you leave the party, guests will find themselves mourning your departure, while simultaneously questioning whether you ever existed at all…

7) Skeletons In The Closet

When you show up to the party with a 12-pack of Natty Ice wearing a black silk robe and sniffing like a madman, women will run for the exits! And nothing frightens old white men with authority more than the prospect that the skeletons in their own closets may be exposed as well. Then again, for it to to truly be scary they’d have to be actually, you know – held accountable once in a while…

8) Trump-O’-Lantern

Orange. Empty headed. Bald. Terrifying.