The French have begun making plans for the August 2019 Group of 7 (G7) summit, which will take place in Biarritz, a luxurious seaside tourist destination on France’s southwest shore.

Recent G7 summits have featured several tense, awkward encounters between US President Trump and other G7 leaders. In an effort to avoid and/or diffuse some of this tension, the event’s planning committee is considering, for the first time, a separate “USA Kidz Table” designed and reserved especially for the US delegation.  “We are excited to provide a space that, we think, suits the needs of the US delegation very well.”

French President Emmanuel Macron was asked about this arrangement during a brief encounter with the press yesterday. “I trust the planning committee to make good decisions – but I do think this is a promising innovation,” Macron said. “This new arrangement would allow the grown-ups to eat our grown up foods and freely engage in boring conversations about war and peace and the future of the planet. The Americans can enjoy their favorite foods, and play with themselves and their phones. I think, perhaps, everyone will be happier.”

“Perhaps some breaks from each other will be best,” a Macron spokesman added later.

The USA Kidz Table would offer a “Trump friendly” menu, including Filets de Poulet (Chicken Tenders), Le Mac (Big Mac), Royale with Cheese (Quarter Pounder with Cheese), Frites (Freedom Fries), Macaroni au Fromage (Mac ’n’ Cheez), Creme au Chocolat (Chocolate Pudding), Crème Glacée au Chocolat (Chocolate Ice Cream), Jello (Jello) and, also, upon request, extra cheez sauce, extra ketchup and/or extra whipped cream. The USA Kidz Table menu will be in English only. “Our understanding is that no one in the US delegation reads French.”

The USA Kidz Table will also include educational placemats, toys, and coloring books – an effort to “facilitate communication” and “encourage informed conversation” between Trump’s delegation and European leaders “who are, perhaps, a bit more focused on policy-making rooted in relevant and truthful information.” The placemats will provide “fun facts” about climate change, the US Constitution, global geography, diversity, and bullying (see attached images).

When asked if the President had any comment on this new arrangement, White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said “We have always said that Americans should have our own table. We’re glad that the Europeans agree.” Will president Trump attend the summit? “That depends,” Sanders said, “on several things, including (a) figuring out where Biarritz is, (b) confirmation that chicken tenders will actually be on the American’s menu and (c) other reasons that are at this time unknown and will, at the appropriate time, be totally up to President Trump.”