In Florida, scores of books have recently been banned from libraries and classrooms as a result of Governor Ron DeSantis signing a bill giving parents, activists, and elected officials increased access to the process of selecting and removing those books.  What this means, essentially, is that any book can now be banned for any reason – no matter how unrealistic, how outrageous, how ridiculous.  One can only imagine the possibilities: 

Book:  Uncle Tom’s Cabin

Reason for banning:  Doesn’t mention the skills Tom was taught as a slave, possibly whittling and playing the harmonica.

Book:  Wizard of Oz

Reason for banning:  Promotes Kansas too much.  Why should “No place like home” relate to Kansas?  Why shouldn’t it be “No place like Florida”?

Book:  To Kill a Mockingbird

Reason for banning:  Atticus is too woke.

Book:  Call of the Wild

Reason for banning:  The dog’s name is Buck, which may remind people of lowlife character Joe Buck in obscene movie Midnight Cowboy.

Book:  Moby Dick

Reason for banning:  Second word of title is suggestive.

Book:  The Grapes of Wrath

Reason for banning:  The settlers going to the ultra-liberal state of California is objectionable.

Book:  The Three Musketeers

Reason for banning:  The musketeers’ motto, “One for all and all for one,” is too socialistic.

Book:  Huckleberry Finn

Reason for banning:  Huck helping Jim, a slave, escape, portrays slavery as being all bad, rather than, as the South maintained, a benevolent, paternalistic institution with social and economic benefits.

Book:  A Christmas Carol:

Reason for banning: It teaches children to believe in ghosts.

Book:  The Catcher in the Rye

Reason for banning:  Story poses danger of Florida children emulating an elitist rich kid, especially one from Manhattan.

Book:  Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

Reason for banning:  It could possibly lead young girls to not be suspicious if approached by a hatter.

Book:  Peter Pan

Reason for banning:  Peter’s relationship with Tinker Bell could influence boys to show a preference for short, diminutive girls.

Book:  Pride and Prejudice

Reason for banning: Too critical of prejudice, which is sometimes a positive thing.

Book:  Fahrenheit 451

Reason for banning:  Deals with unspeakable act of book burning, rather than civilized procedure of simply book banning.

Book:  The Old Man and the Sea

Reason for banning:  Violates two Florida mandates:  no shark talk and no demeaning seniors.

Book:  Macbeth

Reason for banning:  Three witches may frighten children enough to have a negative impact on traditional Miami Halloween celebration.

Book: Les Misérables

Reason for banning:  Overly sympathetic to do-gooder thief Valjean while being overly critical of dogged policeman Javert, suggesting a bias towards liberalism.