Out with the Old

By Martin H. Levinson

Biden and Trump between them are over 150 years old and clearly in need of retirement. America could use a fresh young face in the Oval Office. Here are four reasons why.

1. Inexperience

Young people, because they have little or even no experience in politics, could bring added energy and perspective to the Office of President of the United States. Unburdened by what is conventionally expected of a president, they could think and act outside the Beltway box. For example, rather than having formal dinners with foreign dignitaries to talk about international relations they could shoot the breeze while playing videogames. Rather than wearing correct business attire a young prez could chill in ripped jeans. Rather than boring the nation with speeches done on television, they could put out their messages on X, formerly known as Twitter.

An inexperienced president could hit the ground running and not worry about giving offence to anyone because if they did offend someone, they’d have a built-in excuse, not knowing bupkis about how things are done in DC. BTW, knowing things is way over-valued in politics, and most other areas in life. To paraphrase an old saying about power but using knowledge in its place: “Knowledge corrupts, and lots of knowledge corrupts a whole bunch more.” We live in a country that doesn’t care about knowing stuff. What matters is youth and mindless energy, two sterling attributes that can be put to work for the American people if we elect a clueless fledgling with some get up and go to the highest office in the land.

2. Physical Fitness

The job of president is physically demanding. You have to get up in the morning, wash, dress, eat breakfast, attend meetings, eat lunch, give an occasional speech that has been written for you, do a little traveling, eat dinner, watch TV afterwards or read a book—in the case of Donald Trump, fool around on social media—then put on your pjs and hit the sack. It’s cruel to expect older individuals to do these tasks without being able to deadlift 300-pound weights, run a 4-minute mile, swim the English Channel, and compete successfully in ironman competitions. Young people can more easily do those things, which means they will be better prepared to deal with the rigors that come with the job of being the leader of the free world. Just one more reason to have a young pup in the White House.

3. Communication Skills

Many young voters are turned off to politics because most politicians communicate in ways that are boring. They’d have much more success in getting their ideas across to young people if they did it through rapping, a lively communicative form that allows individuals to express their emotions and thoughts in a creative and cathartic way. But only young folks can rap with any sort of credibility. For example, an old codger would be laughed off the stage if he tried to rap-vocalize the words below.

Yo Putin, whatcha doin’, messin’ in Ukraine,
You Red dog weasel you is actin’ insane.
NATO’s gonna kick your commie butt,
Punch you in the gut, truly fuck you up.
Stop screwin’ with the free world, go back to your hole,
There’s malice in your heart and evil in your soul.

4. Aesthetics

Whom of these two would you rather see run for president, Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling or a couple of doddering old pols from central casting? (It’s a rhetorical question.) Our society prizes youth and energy over wisdom and age. A couple of centuries from now we may figure wisdom out but by then everyone alive today will be dead. Let’s get real. We’re Americans and we believe it’s not what you know, it’s what can you show on TV, smartphone, and computer screens. And what shows best are unwrinkled, smooth-faced, fast walking, trash talking young people. When it comes to being president, the mature fruit has had its day in the sun. The future belongs to the ripening young.