Going Wild on Health

By Martin H. Levinson

President John Fitzgerald Kennedy famously said, “Ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.” President-elect Donald Trump has just done something huge for our country, saying he will appoint Robert F. Kennedy  Jr., JFK’s nephew, to lead the Department of Health and Human Services. That move could benefit the country in lots of ways. Here are four.

Benefit #1: Scientists claim vaccines have been instrumental in mostly eliminating polio, smallpox, diphtheria and a bunch of other diseases. But their proof rests on shaky ground, namely the scientific method, which is about experimentation and is never 100% conclusive—there is always a possibility of a black swan event. RFK gets that, which is why he could care less about science and bases his opinions on his intuitions. He recognizes science is dicey and you’re better off depending for health information on people like him,  people who have achieved celebrity based on their names, with no particular talent and a desire to be in the news. RFK understands health is a crapshoot and should be left to God who, some people are saying, cured polio, smallpox and diphtheria by working 24/7 in a heavenly laboratory nearby NIH headquarters in Bethesda. The Lord took his cure and telepathically insinuated it into people’s bodies while they slept. It would be nuts not to stand behind the All Knowing and RFK, an anti-vaxxer to his patrician core, rather than going with a pack of scientists in white coats running around Deep-State funded labs trying to foist off their “scientific” dogma on the rest of us.

Benefit #2: Proponents of water fluoridation see it as a question of public health policy and equate the issue to vaccination and food fortification, citing significant benefits to dental health and minimal risks. Who do these jokers think they’re kidding? Not RFK and Stanley Kubrick, that’s for sure.

In Kubrick’s classic movie, the documentary Dr. Strangelove, US General Jack D. Ripper talking to British group captain Lionel Mandrake says, “Have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water?”

Mandrake replies, “Well, I can’t say that I have” to which Ripper responds, “Vodka, that’s what they drink . . . on no account will a Commie ever drink water, and not without good reason . . . Have you never wondered why I drink only distilled water, or rainwater, and only pure-grain alcohol? Have you ever heard of a thing called fluoridation of water? Do you realize that fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous Communist plot we have ever had to face?”

RFK didn’t need General Ripper to point out that fluoridation was a Cold War plot to undermine American health. JFK’s secret papers, which RFK saw lying on a desk when he was ten and flipping baseball cards in the Oval Office, spelled it all out. Is it any wonder that RFK wants fluoride removed from our nation’s water supply?

Benefit #3: In 2023, RFK declared that COVID-19 is “targeted to attack Caucasians and Black people. The people who are most immune are Ashkenazi Jews and Chinese.” How did RFK know this? Simple. A worm in his brain that told him. That worm, which ate away the part of RFK’s brain responsible for rational thinking, left intact the part of his brain open to reasoning from reptiles. And so RFK was able to get information that those of us whose brains are reptile-free could not. Sadly, RFK has said the worm inside his brain has since died. But it might have laid eggs and so more worms may take up residence in RFK’s cranium. If that’s the case those worms might also give RFK health advice and inside dope on diseases.

Benefit #4: Old age, a stage of life that is often accompanied by pain and disability, is way too overvalued in this country. Fortunately, RFK’s health policies will have the effect of keeping many from having to experience senescence and the suffering  and debility it brings. They will also keep Social Security solvent, as less people will be around to claim SSI benefits.

Trump has said he wants RFK “to go wild on health.” Given RFK’s disdainful attitude toward science and his lust for the limelight he is the perfect guy to go wild on our nation’s physical and mental well-being.

RFK for HHS Secretary! He’s a wild man.