By Martin H. Levinson

If you had an employee who was constantly gazing over your shoulder trying to get dirt on you would you fire that underling? Of course you would and so would Donald Trump who in the last few months fired four inspectors general (IGs) who were snooping around their respective agencies searching for anything they could to humiliate the most honest American president since Warren G. Harding. Let me tell you about some of their shenanigans.

In April, Michael Atkinson, the IG for the Intelligence community, was canned for reporting a whistleblower complaint concerning President Trump’s innocuous phone call to the president of Ukraine that ultimately led to impeachment charges. Trump was right in giving Atkinson the boot because no one likes a tattletale, unless the tattler is Wikileaks waxing eloquent about Hillary’s emails or Alex Jones exposing Robert Mueller as a pedophile. Anyway, I was taught if you have something bad to say you should keep it to yourself. The only exception to that rule is having something bad to say about Nancy Pelosi, Rachel Maddow, or mail-in voting.

Within a week of firing Atkinson, Trump removed Glenn A. Fine from his role as acting Defense Department Inspector General  Fine was set to become chairman of the Pandemic Response Accountability Committee, a group that monitors moolah meant to mitigate the damage from the coronavirus pandemic. His firing meant Fine could not futz around figuring out the funky financing involved in funneling funds to friends and favorite sons, which is all to the good because if you can’t help your friends and family with government largesse who can you help?

Early in May, and on a roll, Trump replaced Christi Grimm, who true to her name was acting grimly as inspector general for the Department of Health and Human Services. Grimm’s removal came about a month after she released, and Trump criticized, a report to Congress in which hospitals said they faced challenges with testing supplies and wait times for Covid-19.

Why would a person in their right mind issue a report that contradicted a president who is telling the public that medical care and testing are readily available? That would be like Michael Corleone, in The Godfather, offering incriminating information about Don Corleone to the hit men and capos in the Tattaglia family. Grimm was lucky she just got fired for ratting on her boss. If Grimm was a member of a different organization she might have awoken to a horsehead in her bed.

On May 15, Trump gave the heave-ho to State Department Inspector General Steve Linick. Trump’s decision to remove Linick came at the request of Secretary of State Mike Pompeo who discovered Linick was investigating whether Pompeo used a State Department staffer to walk his dog, make restaurant reservations, and pick up his dry cleaning; used State Department money to pay for private, black-tie, political dinners; and used a highly questionable loophole to bypass Congress and fast-track an $8 billion arms sale to Saudi Arabia. Asked about whether Linick’s removal was part of a pattern by his administration to avoid accountability, Trump said, “I think we’ve been treated very unfairly by inspector generals.” Other than the fact that he should have said “inspectors general,” I don’t see how you can argue that inspectors general have treated Trump and his administration unfairly.

A president is not a child who needs to be watched to make sure he behaves in a fitting manner. A president is more like a king with loads of congressional courtiers, heaps of politically appointed court jesters, oodles of ass-kissing advisors, and millions of clueless subjects. Kings don’t get investigated, they get coroneted.

The Trump administration, like Greta Garbo, deserves to be left alone. Instead of looking into possible wrongdoing within federal agencies, our nation’s IGs should be investigating whether the Democratic Party is working with George Soros, the New York Times, and space aliens to rig the 2020 elections; whether Barack Obama is an Al-Qaeda operative being paid by Jeff Bezos to elect Democrats to turn the country socialist, whether horrible Hillary Clinton is the feminist face of evil and in all likelihood the anti-Christ, and whether MasterCard is being truthful when they say “There are some things money can’t buy.”

The president is working like a bat infecting a pig infecting a resident of Wuhan put on a plane by Joe Biden to infect Republican constituents in red states in order to move the country forward and make America great again. How about we stop with the investigations and just let Trump be Trump? The details and democracy can take care of themselves.