By Martin H. Levinson

To stop the spread of the coronavirus the CDC wants everyone to wear a mask. Well CDC, I’m not going to do it because like Patrick Henry, when it comes to government decrees my motto is “Give me liberty or give me death!” I’d rather take my chances on getting sick and dying than have the deep state and Tony Fauci tell me what to do.

I believe in the old Burger King slogan “Have It Your Way.” And that goes beyond what I put on a Whopper. When I’m driving and approach an intersection with a stop sign I don’t act like a robot and automatically hit the brakes. I look around as I come to the crossing and if the coast is clear I gun it. Follow the arrows in a parking lot? I don’t think so! Obey markers that say, “Please stay off the grass?” Not happening! Like William Shakespeare, I subscribe to the notion “to thine own self be true,” even though no one says “thine” anymore and the truth these days is a crapshoot.

At a campaign rally in Tulsa, President Trump quoted a line from The Declaration of Independence that says, “All men are created equal and are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, which among them are life, liberty, and the option not to wear a mask.” If the Founders thought God gives people a right to go maskless I don’t see how the CDC or anyone else can be bent out of shape if individuals exercise that right. I agree with Attorney General Bill Barr who said, “The right not to wear a mask is as sacred as the right to free speech, peaceable assembly, and the right of a president to use the Justice Department to go after his political enemies.”

Wearing or not wearing a mask has become a political signifier, with Democrats much more likely to wear masks than Republicans. The reason for more Democrat mask wearing is that Democrats, as a general rule, tend to mask the truth in dealing with others so putting a mask over their faces is no big deal. Hiding their facial expressions when talking with others is actually a benefit to Democrats. Republicans don’t have a problem with the truth so they don’t have to worry about open, honest, face-to-face communication.

Mask wearing is physically uncomfortable and makes you look weird. That may be okay if you want to rob a bank or go trick or treating once a year but on a daily basis wearing a mask is a genuine hardship that can include fogged up glasses and skin damage. And human beings want to look good to each other. No one, except really ugly people and liberal activists with really ugly ideas, looks good in a mask.

This pandemic is not going to end any time soon so rather than issuing ridiculous directives about mask wearing how about sending people pastries and booze with their stimulus checks, discount coupons to use at vape shops, and vouchers for reduced Netflix subscriptions. How about having federally sponsored country music and rock shows where audiences can lose themselves in the joy of live performance. How about bankrolling a Great American Beer Festival.

The last thing we need in these unsettled times are Gloomy Gus’s from the government telling us to wear masks. All that does is make money for mask companies in China. If a person washes their hands a lot and keeps their distance from folks who are sneezing and coughing they’ll be just fine.

Had this pandemic struck in the 1930s, FDR would not have told Americans they had to wear masks. He would have harkened back to a line he used in his first inaugural address, namely “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself”.

This pathogen can’t beat us if we think positively and have the courage of our convictions. Let’s not forget we live in the most powerful nation on earth. America trounced the Germans and Japs in World War 2, crushed the Commies in the Cold War, and sent Osama bin-Laden to the Great Beyond. The coronavirus is just another badass foe that, if it doesn’t miraculously disappear or get wiped out through the use of disinfectant, is going down.