By Martin H. Levinson

President Trump says the Ukrainians hacked computers used by the Democratic National Committee in 2016 and tried to blame it on the Russians. But he doesn’t know the half of it. I have leaked information from some very fine people on both sides of the political spectrum that there were other bad actors who hacked the DNC and sought to unfairly castigate the Russian Federation. And, in the interests of fair play, and a shot that my claims may be picked up by Breitbart, Infowars, and Fox & Friends, I will now identify three of those malefactors, beginning with a gang of nasty immigrants who were busy hacking the DNC before the 2016 election.

Members of the Radical Refugee Anti-Russia Alliance, a cabal of Mexican rapists, Muslims, residents of shithole countries, and other bad hombres who have reviled Russia from the time Peter the Great proclaimed it an empire in 1721, were working hard on their computers during the 2016 presidential election campaign to try to influence that contest. They first attempted to hack the Republican National Committee server but were kept from doing so by a moat and a forty-foot wall that was erected outside RNC headquarters. They had better luck with the DNC server, which was wide open like US immigration policy and the two-thousand-mile border between the United States and Mexico. Once inside that server they left clues around—e.g., opened bottles of vodka, half-eaten blinis, and plates of caviar and crème fraîche—to show the Russians were responsible for the break-in. They then formed a caravan and snuck into the United States where they are now living in sanctuary cities getting welfare, free schooling, and top-notch medical care.

The Hollywood crowd was another group that hacked the DNC and tried to make Russia the fall guy. Their motive for doing the pilfering was they wanted to find out which of their claque was giving money to assist Democrat candidates. With this knowledge they thought they could shame everyone in show business (except for Clint Eastwood, Roseanne Barr, and Chachi) who hadn’t given money to the Dems to cough up some dough to support the Democrat socialist agenda.

To do the hacking the Hollywood horde hired jokers with Russian-sounding names—individuals with monikers such as Ivan, Boris, and Guccifer 2.0—who if caught would make it look like the Russian government was behind the larceny. Although show-biz folks are always talking about how much they care about people and how much they favor programs to help the working public, the clowns the Hollywood hoods employed to bust the DNC server were not allowed to join the Screen Actors Guild, go to open casting calls, become members of the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences, or work as movie extras.

Space Aliens for Hillary, a Dem-loving extraterrestrial PAC based on Mars, was another assemblage of hack-happy mugs who thought they could get away with influencing the 2016 election. Their plan was to hack the DNC, try to get nabbed doing it, and let the Russians take the hit. Like the Hollywood bozos, they also hired a bunch of characters with Russian-sounding names like Cozy Bear, Papa Bear, Fancy Bear, and Mama Bear to do their dirty work. Sadly, their plan, like the plans of the Radical Refugees, the Hollywood goofballs, and a number of other groups I have not mentioned in this piece, worked. Loads of people, including all the experts who work in American intelligence agencies and the pathetic losers and haters who don’t religiously watch FOX-TV, believe the Russian government hacked the DNC and strove to influence the 2016 presidential election.

Given all this information, and the president’s infallible instinct in knowing time and time again about what is going on in the world, it should seem clear to even the most leftwing political partisan that President Trump is on solid ground in suggesting that the 2016 hacking of the Democratic National Committee was a setup perpetrated with the help of others to cast blame on the Russians. The only thing Trump got wrong is how many organizations and groups were involved in making Russia the villain. Are you listening Breitbart, Infowars, and Fox & Friends?