America's Most Critical Journal since 1999
By Dan Geddes WASHINGTON, DC – The New York Times has published the personal tax returns of President Donald Trump, precipitating a media frenzy on both sides of the American political spectrum. President Trump himself immediately threatened to sue the T... More »
By Dan Geddes On Christmas Eve Santa was making his rounds, Traveling the globe by leaps and by bounds, Arriving in Washington until he found the home of the President, whom he thought was a Clown. Santa Claus climbed down the White House chimney... More »
During his 2016 presidential campaign, Donald Trump said he could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and he wouldn’t lose any voters. While that statement may not have been completely accurate—e.g., if the person Trump shot was one of h... More »
By Karen Rile WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump made an unprecedented foray into the Olympic sports world today, tweeting that the US Biathlon team will adopt AK-47 assault rifles for use in competition going forward. The announcement provoked shockwaves t... More »
(The year is 2021, or if the Democrats go down to defeat in the 2020 presidential election, 2025.) Welcome to the Donald J. Trump Presidential Library located in the lobby of Trump Tower Moscow right next to Comrade Mitch McConnell’s Vodka Bar. To make your ... More »
“The Secretary of Commerce threatened to fire top employees at the federal agency responsible for weather forecasts last Friday after the agency’s Birmingham office contradicted President Trump’s claim that Hurricane Dorian might hit Alabama.”—The Ne... More »
BARISTA: How can I help you, person? Would you like to try our new, vegan, GMO-free, gluten-free, calorie-free, free-range, flavor-free latte? It’s great. And NOT free, though I can’t tell you how many customers get confused about that. Seriously, I’m so... More »
Score one point for each item you check: When you’re stuck in traffic, do you automatically blame The State of New Jersey Henry Ford The asshole in the left lane who keeps trying to cut in front of you Jews The President of the Un... More »
He had made it a molten calf: and they said: “These be thy gods.” —Exodus 32:4 Desperate, despised and dumb, a dancing bear, With Musso’s scowl, small hands and gilded hair. His puerile tantrums and his infant’s rage So ill become a statesman and a s... More »