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Sex, My Yelp Review

4 stars

Let me start out by saying I wanted to give it 4½ stars but Yelp doesn’t allow that. I don’t think it merits five stars because sometimes it’s messy or requires specialized equipment that I’m not always sure how to use. Frequently it’s a little cramped but it’s never crowded, if that makes any sense. And there’s often a REALLY long wait time. They don’t take reservations.

On the positive side, once it starts it usually ends pretty quickly.

This isn’t my first time having sex but it’s my first review of it. I’ve had it with different people, in different places, even in a few different countries. It’s pretty much the same in different places so my review covers sex in general. I don’t see other reviews of Sex on Yelp so maybe it’s not that common. I guess that makes me an expert!

One minor complaint- sometimes it’s SO hard to find. Especially early in the morning. There are places where you can often find it but they usually don’t open until later in the day, sometimes not until dinnertime. Which isn’t good because I like to go before work.

Parents- note that sex is not child-friendly so the lack of baby-sitting services can be a drawback for people with small children. Yeah, I do see the irony.

My female friends tell me that it usually comes with food but that has not been my experience AT. ALL.

Some people really go for Asian but I don’t have a preference.

The lack of temperature control is also an issue. It’s sometimes way too hot which means a shower afterwards. Fortunately I usually do it without clothing so at least nothing I’m wearing gets sweated up.

I don’t like the lack of a receipt. If I want to come back I’d like a detailed record of the transaction and if something goes wrong I want to be able to contact them again.

I did find that Sex sometimes complains that I’m not listening to their needs but I’m not a mind-reader.

Sorry I didn’t take any pictures for this review- maybe next time. I do plan to be back. But not for at least a few hours.

Comment from Sex
Business Owner
Thank you for your feedback. We always appreciate hearing from our satisfied customers.
I’m sorry you find us so hard to find. We are on the internet as well as all over your neighborhood. Not to brag, but we’re even more popular than Starbucks.
I hope that next time we can earn five stars from you.

5 other reviews that are not currently recommended

1 star
I was looking forward to it but it was kind of painful. Don’t think I’ll be back.

1 star
I came here because of a friend’s recommendation and also I saw it in a movie. But I found it embarrassing and also slightly rude. I felt rushed and pressured to accept things I didn’t want. I will try another place next time. The back of a Honda Fit wasn’t very comfortable.

5 stars
I’m a frequent customer. Like good pizza, we don’t have it at home so when I travel to NYC on business I seek it out as much as possible.

3 stars
This is a joint review- I wanted to give it four stars but my girlfriend said no, three is more than enough.

3 stars
It’s okay, I guess. It’s apparently very popular with politicians.

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