By Jerry Robbins
A Book for Lefties, by Neil Armstrong. When he realized he couldn’t work most of the levers and dials in his spacecraft, Neil vowed to write this book. It encourages all southpaws to stand up for their lefts.
Twelve Principles of Impossibility Thinking, by Nelson Ridgley. This book is a corrective to the positive thinking of Norman Vincent Peal and his Many Clones. Don ‘t even think of trying these principles unless you have the right attitude.
Life’s Even Smaller Instruction Book, by Ms. Priscila Brown. A sequel to the bookstore smash, Life’s Little Instruction Book, (Rutledge,1991), by Jackson Brown, Jr., although not packaged nearly so nicely.
When Good Things Happen to Bad People, by Jerome Robbins. The frequent blunt of many jokes, Harold Kushner must sustain yet another parody of his best seller as he continues (posthuminously) to roll in the royalties.
All I Needed to Know I Learned from a Squash, by Robert Planter. Robert Fulghum is not the only one who learned something from being forced to socialize at an early age.
Keeping the FUN in FUNerals, by Kuebler-Ross. This book shows that thanatology needs to lighten up This book argues that the Funeral, which is The Academy Awards for the Deceased, is a good place to begin.
Reasons to Never, Never Die, by Bret Kavanaugh. This book shows how changing just one letter can make a statement coherent. Would I lie to you?
When Theologians Go Bad, Karl Barth, JR. Before he went crazy Martin Luther wrote that the world is like a drunken peasant. You help it up on one side of the horse and it falls off the other. These theologians are falling off the other side.
Prayers That Need a Little Work, by Moses Seinfeld. This book reminds us that if we could be as holy as saints our prayers would be perfect. But we are not so they are not.
SSSShhhhhhh, by Hazel Slumber. It is no longer a secret. This book shows how people who had no interest in religion suddenly show up in church. Truly, God moves in mysterious ways.
The Rev. Billy Bob Talks to Teenagers, by Billy Bob, a parody of Billy Graham Talks to Teenagers, written just after he was captured by aliens who removed his brain, or was it just a youth retreat?
The Dulbert School of Church Management, by Ross Perot.The anti-boss Dulbert has been dismantling corporate America for several years. This book proves that the church too is well-trained in the idiocies of bureaucracy.
The Teacher Recognition Book, by Anne Devoos. Certainly the unsung heroes of our society are its teachers. This book will hardly improve their lot.
Deep Thoughts from the Chancel, by Mel Books. Not all thoughts at worship are holy. This book shows how this is true of clergy and other church leaders. R-rated.
Pectoral Directory of ELCA Leadership (Illustrated). This book was inspired by an ACTUAL bulletin blooper. If you look carefully you will see that it is non-sexist.
The OHBOY Bible, by Mr. Rogers. Who can resist a book like, Charles Potter’s, Is THAT in the Bible? This book is based on the Potter’s version but eliminates any of the demanding or dark (“take up your cross”) parts in favor of only the upbeat, inspiring (“the Lord wants you to have a good time,”) parts. Definitely for Millennials.
Prayers for the Third Millennium, by David David. Who thought we would make it this far? These prayers celebrate the fact that we have avoided extinction – so far.
The Not-So-True Meaning of Christmas, by George Nick. A tiresome rant against secular Christmas practices. Don’t hold this against the author, Santa. He needs those Christmas gifts.
War and Peas, by Shirley Marx. This book is filled with silly words, reminiscent of many misunderstandings of religious language.
St. Peters: #1 Party School, by Chevy Chase. A book that shows how deeply feelings run on this issue. Anyone who thinks his or her college is #1 is invited to campaign with supporting documentation.
The Twelve-Minute Joke Book, by Dean Julliard. This book helps preachers with their joke delivery. Buy one for your parson person.
Dave Barry Gets Religion, by Jer Robbins. Two staples of American culture meet in this hilarious book.
Hell, it Ain’t so Bad, by James Lucifer. A popular arena for humor, hell is nothing to joke about. This book proves, however, it is possible to look on the sunny side of the subject.