America's Most Critical Journal since 1999
Because I think it is a very mean life: John Miller’s[1] famous last words by Ties Dams and Thalia Ostendorf Speech recorded at the occasion of the retirement party of John Miller Contractor in the employ of E. Christ[2] Construction Inc. January 20th, 2... More »
By David Galef “The beauty of the world which is so soon to perish, has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.” Trying afternoon yesterday with Lady Ottoline Morrell in her stupid new frock at her stupid garden party.... More »
by David Comfort In 2006, Jack Dorsey, a 29-year-old NYU drop-out and shoe salesman reject, invented a new kind of human communication. Describing it as “bird chirps” and “short bursts of inconsequential information,” he called it Twitter. By year’s ... More »
Death by Idiom (A two-character tragedy) By Martin H. Levinson Setting Two guys talking to each other anywhere in America JOE Can I be frank with you about Jack? JIM Certainly, but I want to be Jed. JOE Who’s Jed? JIM Somebody I made up. JOE Why would y... More »
by Boaz Dvir If you’ve never received a stimulus check, you should? Vote Republican. It’s the Democrats’ fault Vote Democrat. It’s the Republicans’ fault Ask your boss for a salary decrease so you can qualify. It may ultimately l... More »
edited by Lady Mollie Fermaglich In what some historians refer to as “one of the greatest love stories of the 20th century,” and others call, “a decision dumber than ordering the rack of lamb at Applebees, King Edward VIII of England gave up the throne w... More »
By Martin H. Levinson Dear Mister Etiquette: When I sit down to eat at a fancy affair, I get confused about what silverware to use and which glasses to drink from. Do you have any advice that can help me not make a fool of myself when I am at an event like thi... More »
Alright, you got me. 65 in a 40 — not great, I know. But when you’ve got “Hot for Teacher” cranked up on your way to the gym, how could you not stretch out the legs on this bad boy? Oh, you haven’t heard of it? Well, you might be too young, from the ... More »
September 30, 2020 Today is an excellent day! I have finally received the funding I require from the private sector to begin experimentation on my two Macaca mulatta (Rhesus macaque monkey) specimen. Both monkeys are of the same age, and same gender (male), of... More »
By Martin H. Levinson The patriotic Americans who stormed the Capitol on January 6th did so because Congress was about to ratify the results of a presidential election where millions of illegal immigrants mailed in votes from their vacation homes near the fiel... More »
by Dan Geddes Hollings’ Works Soldier’s Way (1920) Elmer and Louise (1922) A Green Sled and Other Poems (1923) Son of the South (1928) Share the Land (1931) Call of the Bottle (1937) Paris Nights (1943) (Screenplay) Shrapnel! (1945) One World—Part I ... More »
By Martin H. Levinson George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and FDR did some pretty amazing things when they led the country. But their achievements don’t hold a candle to America’s greatest president, Donald J. Trump, a one-term head of state who was robbed... More »