355 posts

AOC
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The Lost Diary of…Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

Published 6y ago -

Discovered by Mollie Fermaglich   Dear Diary, Hi!  I’m Alexandria!  What’s your name?  Oh, that’s right.  You’re my diary and I have to name you.  My favorite names are Alexandria, Fidelita and Hannah Montana.  I could call you “Kitty,” ... More »

To Be or Not to Be

Published 6y ago -

Op-Ed by Nitram Nosnivel With five conservative pro-life judges serving on the US Supreme Court it’s pretty much certain that Roe v. Wade will be overturned. There are lots of good reasons for this to happen and as a proud possessor of an XY chromosome pairi... More »

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Bernie’s 2020 Campaign Song

Published 6y ago -

Bernie, Bernie, Bernie.  Like plaque psoriasis, you’re back.  While others your age have settled comfortably into a 55+ retirement community with all sorts of amenities, you remain active as a United States Senator which, I’m guess, is even better, with ... More »

Sex, My Yelp Review

Published 6y ago -

4 stars Let me start out by saying I wanted to give it 4½ stars but Yelp doesn’t allow that. I don’t think it merits five stars because sometimes it’s messy or requires specialized equipment that I’m not always sure how to use. Frequently it’s a lit... More »

A Curse Upon the Lords of Vax

Published 6y ago -

Greetings, mortals, weaklings, and other forms of cowards and fools. It is I, Lady Hephiastus, Goddess of Smooth Stones. My mate is Chagleen the Mighty, God of Battle Scars. Many a day has he sung the praises of my fertility while dining on the entrails of his... More »

Test Drive with Infotainment

Published 6y ago -

ANDY Jeff told me you still had some questions about our TSX 400. I’m the infotainment professor, and I’ll try to answer them all. I’m not a salesman, and I’ll be entirely impartial. SAM We had a pleasant scenic ride through the countryside, but the fi... More »

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Melania Trump’s Open Letter to Democrats

Published 6y ago -

Get it together, Democrats, because I’m ready to high tail it out of this White House of garbage. If I have to eat off one more filthy piece of Obama china or sit on a Lincoln sofa I’m going to vomit all over the wonderfully tacky Rosa Garden. My husband h... More »

Sesame Street: The Lawsuit

Published 6y ago -

Our client contends that the children’s television program Sesame Street — between its debut in 1969 and the point when “my parents couldn’t force me to watch it anymore,” in 1971 — did him painful and irreparable harm: emotionally, intelle... More »

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