America's Most Critical Journal since 1999
by Frank Palmeri and Ted Wendelin In support of patriotic demonstrators who proclaim that they are “willing to die for jobs,” we make this clear statement of our creed. The aim of economic growth is to provide jobs, not to further life. If human life is pr... More »
by Martin H. Levinson Thank you for calling the Social Security Administration. For English, press one; para Español, marque número dos; pour la français, presse trois; für deutsch, drücken sie vier, orfay igpay atinlay, esspray ivefay; для русск... More »
By Chris Jetko Today I’ll be your guide as we explore this place of mystery and broken dreams. Gather round you guys! I’m so glad you could join me for this afternoon’s tour. Since it opened to visitors in the spring of 2019, Kitchen Island has welcomed ... More »
By Martin H. Levinson The coronavirus is killing people in Asia, Europe, and other places but that bug won’t get us because we’re too smart and cool to suffer shit like other nations. I know what you’re thinking: the CDC has reported some people have die... More »
An Email to My Students, Now That Our University is Sending Them Home During the COVID-19 Crisis Hi, folks: Just a few updates, since ENG 257: Creative Nonfiction will be held remotely for the rest of the semester …. Required Readings As originally listed, p... More »
By Ana Worrel and Amy Frances Wright I wanna start by assuring you that I’m not gonna, like, mine a sophisticated profile of your personality to sell to nefarious third party consulting firms or anything like that. Sudoku’s a simple app. I’m just here to... More »
by Molly McCaffrey Donald Trump is a real hoot! He’ll say anything. I love that guy. Bernie Sanders used a salad fork to eat steak in 1972. He’s the least electable person in history. Mitt Romney is insanely ethical. I love that guy. Elizabeth Warren’s ... More »
Curated By Mollie Fermaglich JUST WHEN YOU’D HOPED THEY’D GO AWAY FOREVER –THEY’RE BACK, WITH THEIR NEW ALBUM, FEATURING SOME OF THEIR GREATEST HITS! IT’S THE SQUAD! THAT’S RIGHT – ILHAN, AOC, RASHIDA AND AYANA PRESSLEY, HAVE STOPPED BITCHING A... More »
By Eric Lichtblau Dear Iowa, This is never easy, so I’ll just say it: We need to end it. It’s just not working for me anymore. Yes, you were “the first.” You’ll always be the first, at least in my heart. But we b... More »
By Don Mousted Thank you for joining me this morning in the President’s absence. I would ask that you listen closely to what I have to say, then read the entire memo several times and discuss it together as well. Your help in this matter will prove invaluabl... More »
by T.H. Cee Pharmaceutical Vignette #1: The scene opens. An obese man edited into a cheesy one-dimensional outer space backdrop flies on the back of a rocket freakishly reminiscent of a red jalapeno as it orbits Uranus. The spokesperson for the commercial begi... More »
By Danny Neary As a devout conservative, I believe very strongly that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is wrong about the facts and would definitely like me if she gave me a chance. Ocasio-Cortez has been making headlines just about every day since she became the yo... More »