By Tim Koechlin
“Not only do we have the DC jail which is the DC gulag, but now we have Nancy Pelosi’s gazpacho police spying on members of Congress, spying on the legislative work that we do, spying on our staff and spying on American citizens.” —Marjorie Taylor Greene
Imagine a restaurant inspired by Greene’s comment:
Greene Cuisine: Trattoria Totalitaria
“Our motto and our mission: Great food, and surveillance with a smile!”
Menu
Breakfast
Guantanamo Bacon and Eggs
Luft Waffles
Lunch
Stop and Frisée Salad
Republican Garden Salad
Soviet Onion Rings
Stale Bread and Water (with olive oil, butter or Marjorie)
J. Edgar Hoagie
Dinner
Molotov Cocktail.
Chilled Gestapo (with a dollop of sour cream)
Illegal Search and Caesar Salad
KG Beet Salad
Somozas with Tamarind Chutney
Mussolini in white clam sauce
Panko Incarcerated Salmon
Pol Pot Pie
Dessert
Blueberry Blintzkriegs
Chocolate Mussolini
Stalinzer Torte
ICE Cream (vanilla only)
Wire Tapioca Pudding
Yellow Cake from Niger (when available)
TUESDAY SPECIAL
Buy one meal at full price, and we’ll detain one guest without charges!
In a rush? No time to sit? We also have fascist food to go!
Bon appétit!