Category

Poems

Funny and/or satirical poems from The Satirist’s archives.

86 posts

Joe Biden
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The Biden Monologues: Day 457

Published 3y ago -

America as a notion can be defined as a single word. Most days that word is: Meatloaf gasoline hamburgers Cher or Batman others days it’s cowgirl sunglasses alligator spandex motel though those allegations are unproven. America is a saxophone that denies eve... More »

clouds
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Triumph

Published 3y ago -

by Abena Ntoso After “A Bone” by Nakahara Chūya Look at this, it’s my sky I’ve won it playing with firearms fireworks and hot dogs grilled steaks, chewing bubble gum staring. There is my sky, see, it only weeps when it’s supposed to predictable to a... More »

Ireland
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The Plutonium Isle

Published 3y ago -

“Ireland must reassess military power” —Simon Coveney In the absence of Seamus Heaney, if Ireland is to be renowned for anything other than bog water, cabbage and our negligible corporate tax rate, we must invest in at least one intercontinental ballisti... More »

man typing
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The Acquisition

Published 3y ago -

by Kevin Higgins  No longer exactly young but still in a hurry to board the bus bound for what they call somewhere. Emerging poet acquires agent so sang the update. Or is acquired by, it neglected to add. From now on they will focus less on the bits that don... More »

Apartment 5E

Published 3y ago -

by Kevin Higgins after Rod McKuen   The old woman upstairs is again engaging in multi-partner Sadomasochism. I set my watch by the yelps and screams wafting through my ceiling. I see her often abseiling down the side of the building in her bloodstained ov... More »

F ck
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What the F*ck

Published 3y ago -

By Martin H. Levinson Fuck this Fuck that Fuck no Fuck yeah Fuck you Fuck me Fuck him Fuck her Fucked up Fuck off He’s fucked She’s fucked Holy fuck Mind fuck Stupid fuck Silly fuck Dumb fuck Clusterfuck Bumfuck Fuckhead Fuckface Fuckass Fuckbag Fuckwad... More »

children sunset
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A Farewell to Failed Young

Published 3y ago -

A Farewell to Failed Young (A parody of Sir Raleigh’s “A Farewell to False Love”) By K.D. Taylor “Most of you should disassociate yourself from your children! Because they’re losers! If your kids are eight, nine years old, they’re finished. There... More »

well-made-poem
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This Is Not a Well Made Poem

Published 3y ago -

by Kevin Higgins The well made poem puts on its dicky bow, walks to the top of the hill, and has what it calls an epiphany. The well made poem sees every side of the argument, except those proscribed by the BBC. The well made poem has between twelve and twenty... More »

man in chains
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Incarnations

Published 3y ago -

Incarnations by Tariq Mehmood Three thieves came to town Two bankrupt, one *bankdit The bankdit had some cash Two **Hollars, one **Lollar The Lollar bought three generations Two barren, one broken The broken one made three promises Two untruthful, one unkept T... More »

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Apology in Seven Tongues

Published 3y ago -

Apology in Seven Tongues Diana Senechal I. Brass Come with me to the basement. You’ve been fired. Take all your things with you: your shoulder bag, your jacket, any coffee mugs or photos brought in over the years. Leave all the rest: that’s right, your ID ... More »

poem
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Essay on Vagueness

Published 4y ago -

by Kevin Higgins after Ocean Vuong   Because the poodle’s polka dot collar lying luminous at the bottom of the stairs was an exclamation mark discarded from a poem. Because all your relatives kept turning up — & the kettle exploded from our ov... More »

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Worst Side Story

Published 4y ago -

Worst Side Story Star-cross’d lovers when first they met The tale—Romeo and Juliet— Contains Love, Death, Betrayal…the lot. (Without which, of course, there’d be no plot) Alas our Juliet and Romeo They loved too much and had to go! Had they s... More »

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