By Martin H. Levinson
Today’s business lesson from the Bible is about the role of influencers in getting people to do one’s bidding. The Good Book is filled with examples of such individuals—and animals. Exhibit A: the serpent in the Garden of Eden who through an appeal to a wanting to be as smart as God convinced Eve to eat an apple from the tree of knowledge.
Eve #MoreThanJustaRib was the first human influencer. She persuaded the only other person living in the world at the time to take a bite of an apple she had just bitten into. As a result of those bites the pair was forced to quit the gardening business and find other lines of work, which they did, specifically in real estate, men’s and women’s apparel, and human reproduction. Eve’s rise (or fall) from horticulturist to entrepreneur and mother of humanity is a charming and instructive story that can’t be told too often.
Delilah #Dscrissorhands was a hottie from Sorek who was paid by the lords of the Philistines to use her influencing skills to uncover the source of her boyfriend’s strength. To do this she micro-targeted her partner with messages that played to his male vanity, to wit: “I like my men strong and sensitive. How did you get to be that way?” “You got a great head of hair and I can understand why you wouldn’t want to cut it but if you did I’m sure the world wouldn’t come crashing down on you.” “I tell you all my secrets but you seem a bit withholding. How about telling me the secret of your strength?”
Delilah’s persistent efforts to uncover her boyfriend’s physical prowess, which she was successful at, paid off handsomely. Her brand awareness rose to such as extent that the writers of the Old Testament included her as a character in the Bible, and while that inclusion was not an especially flattering one no publicity is bad publicity. Being mentioned in a book that has been read by billions of people for thousands of years gave Delilah immortality, which is something most folks would die for.
Noah #aHighandDryGuy was a righteous man who walked with God. He was also a big-time biblical influencer with tremendous organizational skills who the Lord turned to when he became upset about how the world had become corrupt and filled with violence. Irritated beyond all that is holy, God told Noah to build an Ark in which he, his sons, and their wives together with male and females of all living creatures would be saved from a flood that God was going to cause on earth.
Noah got right on the case by DMing all the animals in the world through twitter—natural bird calls not the social networking service that people use today. The message he sent asked them to select representatives of their species to come on board the Ark. Because Noah was one of God’s faves, and a PETA contributor, they complied with his request. The upshot was the human race was saved and Noah’s story, besides being an essential part of the Bible, was made into a movie starring Russell Crowe and Emma Watson—FYI the film can be streamed on Prime Video.
Moses #LetMyPeopleGo was one of the Bible’s most prolific influencers, persuading Pharaoh to let the Jews go from Egypt and convincing the Hebrews to accept the Ten Commandments. To accomplish the former, he enlisted God’s help in incentivizing the Egyptians to free the Jews through the selective use of plagues. That plan worked and Moses wound up with thousands of followers who agreed to leave their homes and take a road trip to Mount Sinai where God gave them the Torah, a five-book series packed with divine revelation.
The day after the Torah giving, God told Moses to hike up to the top of Mount Sinai where the Lord would give him two stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments were carved. Moses did so but his followers, too impatient to wait for their leader to come off the mountain and depressed by skies made dark by Satan, a biblical influencer who is always up to no good, reneged on their pledge to monotheism and started to worship a golden calf. When Moses finally joined his rebellious disciples he became angry and smashed the tablets he was carrying.
God directed Moses to rewrite the tablets and share their contents with the Jews. Moses obeyed the Lord’s injunction and was able to get the Israelites to see that a belief in one God, not committing adultery, and honoring one’s parents was trending all over Sinai and fast becoming a meme. Long story short, the children of Israel
#TheChosenPeople updated their religious views and marched 40 years across the wilderness to reach the Holy Land. Moses did not go with them because the big boss had canceled him for breaking faith. Moses died within sight of Canaan on Mount Nebo, where his avatar is still trying to get into Israel.
Next week we will cover the upsides and downsides of miracles. Be prepared to take notes and see those notes soar up to the sky and turn into clouds. Bring an umbrella in case some of those clouds start pouring down rain as you are on your way to class. You may also want to bring a list of things you desire in life, which, if time permits, you can ask God for at the end of the lesson.