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The Frump Who Sold Christmas
All the Foolze down in Foolzville like Foolzville a lot, But the Frump who lived North of Foolzville did not. The Frump hated Foolzville! The whole blasted swamp! And he vowed he would drain it, in one wild romp! For doing so, he said he had lots of rea... More »
The Voice God Gave Her
By Amie Heasley Before she stepped to the podium, Lizbeth closed her eyes and mumbled the same quick prayer. Until this moment, she had agreed to follow the sage advice of her team, forgoing any public appearances for the duration of the race. If she ke... More »
Hooters Take-Out
I’m currently dating a Hooters waitress. Her name’s Jamie and she works at the branch that just opened here in Santa Monica that still has the orange and white, overly-inflated, grand-opening balloons flapping around out front. The restaurant’... More »
Jesus and the Sea Star
The old man watched as the young boy picked up another starfish and hurled it back into the tides. He marveled at how many starfish littered the sand. Calling to the boy, he said, “There are thousands of starfish here! You can’t possibly help them all.” ... More »
The Inamesia Scare
By Stephen Faulkner 23 May 2016 It has long been the decided opinion of the majority of the combined populations of Balton, Seabridge, Foe’s Landing and other towns within calling distance of Quarl-on-Tewing that the entire population of Quarl is fit for the... More »
Begging the Question
Alan and Bert were sophomores at Dugald Macpherson High School and they’d been arguing all week about which of them should invite Stacey Perkins to Spring Fling. Now it was Friday and Stacey still—miraculously—did not have a date. So the boys sat acr... More »
The Great Wall of Pie
By Arthur H. Smith 1 February 2016 Migrating towards the Southern border, thousands of low level shrubs quietly move through the mean countryside by night when the piercing sun has fully subsided. By day, they find respite wherever darkening shade and cooling,... More »
Any Job for Bob
There were days in London when drinkers lived in dread of the hated bell and those spine chilling words, ‘Last Orders at the Bar.’ This was that time, when drunks forgot their battles, left their tables and without stumbling, ran for another one. I... More »
The Proposal Thief
by Alexander Carver That afternoon I spontaneously proposed to Daphne while on a nature hike in the Malibu canyons. Having reached the crest of a particularly steep hill, I happened to look up into the air and spot a sky-writing plane adding the finishing touc... More »
You Stink!
Tariq Mehmood I never thought a rubbish dump would ever talk to me, but one day a dump in Ain Al Mresseih, Beirut did just that. But then I have never named a trash heap before. It happened a few days after garbage stopped being collected and began piling up o... More »
Max and Tony
By Josh Rank Max’s field of vision bobbed up and down as the headrest beat against the back of his head. He tried leaning forward, but the rocking of the seat didn’t stop as Tony kept chewing on the upholstery from the back. The radio was on, mostly commer... More »