175 posts

Romney Takes a Firm Stand against Gay Polygamy

Published 12y ago -

Despite his somewhat ambiguous stances on gay marriage and polygamy, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney avowed that he was “dead set against gay polygamy. Gay polygamy would be very confusing for everyone involved, and must never be tolerated.” ... More »

Meat Packer Introduces “Pink Slime Classic”

Published 12y ago -

WASHINGTON – The recent public outcry over “pink slime” in ground beef has led to the removal of the controversial food additive from the beef sold in many supermarkets and fast food chains. Some supermarkets have continued to sell beef conta... More »

New Reality TV Show “Foreclosure”

Published 12y ago -

By Dan Geddes HOLLYWOOD—The NBS network has announced production of a new hour long reality TV Show Foreclosure, which pays ordinary foreclosure victims to appear on the show. Executive Producer John Stallman describes Foreclosure as “giving Middle Ame... More »

Mitt Romney Awarded Nobel Peace Prize

Published 12y ago -

The Committee for the Nobel Peace Prize stunned the world today by granting its prestigious award to Republican Presidential nominee Mitt Romney. “Never before has a rich, white Mormon run for the Presidency of the United States on a major party ticket,” s... More »

Local Man Loves Wife Too Much; Nauseates Friends

Published 13y ago -

By Walter Bowne Jim Brenner has an addiction: he just can’t get enough of his wife, Janice. After seventeen years and three children, Jim Brenner still feels that overwhelming urge to grasp her, to kiss her, and to make the sweetest love ever known, just li... More »

US Supreme Court Overturns Social Security Act

Published 13y ago -

WASHINGTON — Citing the recent decision whereby the Supreme Court overturned Obamacare, the Court has now overturned Social Security Act of 1935 on the same grounds in Smith vs. U.S.. The plaintiff, Orange County millionaire, Weston Smith, sued the Federal G... More »

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IRS: Frozen Bodies Still Subject to Income Tax

Published 13y ago -

By Dan Geddes WASHINGTON—A new IRS rule states that cryogenically preserved bodies (frozen in liquid nitrogen) are still subject to US income tax, “because there remains a discrete chance that their lives and incomes can be restored by advances in med... More »

Turd Terrorist Hits Popular Water Park

Published 13y ago -

By Walter Bowne The Comstock Mine Track has seen its share of runs and rushes, but it has never seen such a load until now. For the third time this season Alpine Meadows Water Park in Grandville, CO has been soiled in what now has been called a growing trend o... More »

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