America's Most Critical Journal since 1999
For One-Billion Non-Breeders Only: No Kidding Bill of Rights! By David Comfort We live in an age of equality and diversity. Why, then, are the childfree – an increasingly large and pissed-off demographic – still second-class citizens? Think about it: what ... More »
TO BABe, OR NOT TO BABe?: 10 Pros & Cons of Parenthood By David Comfort Earth’s human population now stands at 7.9 billion, a 700% jump from a century ago. Short of an asteroid hit, a Covid Black Plague, or everybody going LGBT or Q, the population is ... More »
CROSSTALK: A TGIF Passion Play by David Comfort TIME 33 AD. Good Friday, dawn. CHARACTERS: JESUS: Messiah PHIL: Good Thief PETE: Unrepentant Thief SCENE Golgotha, overlooking Gaza and the West Bank. Three crosses: Jesus, center, in loincloth. Phil, ri... More »
by David Comfort According to recent reports, the post-Covid cost of home daycare has jumped over 70%, averaging between $12,000 and $16,000 annually. Since caring for the 21st Century toddler entails little or no sitting, service providers are no longer calle... More »
Witch-Hunt! The Jack Smith Salem Witch Trial of the Maga Messiah by David Comfort “More due process was afforded to those accused in the Salem Witch Trials than to me.” Donald Trump, claiming 330 times that he is the victim of history’s greatest Witch-Hu... More »
Introducing: THE DICK-O-MATIC! ® Guaranteed Rape Retardant & Post-Roe Contraception Hello, Sisters, Lorena Bobbitt here to tell you about the new life-changing post-Roe and E. Jean product that will make even Proud Boy’s and P’Grabbers back the f**k o... More »
by David Comfort Having a kid is nothing if not a character-building experience. Even non-kidders can’t help but admire the patience, perseverance, and selfless devotion of the average mom or dad. But the price of such maturity is not cheap. The toddler stag... More »
by David Comfort ANNOUNCER: Welcome, Wrestlemania fans, to Istanbul’s Ataturk Olympic Arena where Vlad the Impaler faces off with Ukraine’s Super-Z for the world title tonight! In a peace talk breakthrough after a stalemate on the front, Vladimir P... More »
by God (David Comfort, Secretary) Since the Almighty knew that a good man is hard to find and that many are called but few chosen, He created the following document, but His son declined to use it, fearing it might discourage well-intentioned Salvation volunte... More »
by David Comfort In 2006, Jack Dorsey, a 29-year-old NYU drop-out and shoe salesman reject, invented a new kind of human communication. Describing it as “bird chirps” and “short bursts of inconsequential information,” he called it Twitter. By year’s ... More »
One fine post-primary morning in the year of our Lord 2016, Reinhold Richard “Reince” Priebus, chairman of the Grand Old Party of the Greatest Nation on Earth, woke up in the downtown Des Moines Doubletree to find himself pregnant. The chairman’s once tr... More »
by David Comfort “Forget grammar and think about potatoes.” Gertrude Stein In 1918, Cornell professor, William Strunk, Jr., self-published The Elements of Style. In the introduction, his student, E.B. White, boasted that the 70-page primer fit “the rules... More »