America's Most Critical Journal since 1999
High-Tech Saint Nick Saint Nicholas arrived in Amsterdam, aboard a shiny new ship, looking old as Father Abraham, after his long, tempestuous trip. “To navigate the stormy seas is tough for any old man. I used old maps—no... More »
WASHINGTON – The Pentagon announced today that the Islamic State (ISIS) has blown up two American battleships, the Maine and the Lusitania in the Gulf of Tonkin. Brigadier General Lance Boyle stated: “ISIS was very foolhardy in using weapons of mass destru... More »
By Dan Geddes The Vatican today stunned the world by declaring the European Union to be a saint, effectively immediately. Vatican spokesman Hermann Sisler declared: “More than any individual person in recent history, living or dead, the European Union has sp... More »
By Dan Geddes 1) The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want to talk to liberals. 2) He maketh me lie down in untaxed green pastures: he leadeth me to the clear waters of pro-Gun states where I can shoot deer or thieves as God intended; no one shall take my ... More »
By Dan Geddes WASHINGTON – The IRS today announced that it was cutting the top U.S. corporate income tax rate from 35% to 0% for qualifying companies, effective January 1st. IRS spokesman John Mendacio stated that: “This more favorable tax rate for the lar... More »
By Dan Geddes 19 August 2014 WASHINGTON – Top economists have recently recommended fighting a major war as the best means to solve the world’s six-year old economic crisis. Nobel-nominated economist Karl Strauss of the University of Chicago stated: ... More »
By Dan Geddes RIO DE JANEIRO – Billions of football fans across the world are incredibly happy about the month-long distraction from serious news during the World Cup tournament. “The fact that Russia might start invading Ukraine any minute now is simply n... More »
Review by Dan Geddes Cast Ralph Fiennes … M. Gustave Murray Abraham … Mr. Moustafa Mathieu Amalric … Serge X. Adrien Brody … Dmitri Willem Dafoe … Jopling Jeff Goldblum … Deputy Kovacs Harvey Keitel … Ludwig Jude Law &... More »
WASHINGTON – Federal Reserve chair Janet Yellen yesterday affirmed her confidence that the Federal Reserve Bank can “print dollars forever.” Yellen stated at the National Press Club: “The Federal Reserve can expand its balance sheet indefinitely. We ar... More »
WASHINGTON – The Washington Chronicle today publicly apologized for its 12 hour delay in publishing the story “Drone Attacks Kill Only Terrorists” yesterday. Yesterday, the Department of Defense had held a press conference asserting that: “No inn... More »
COPENHAGEN – Organizers of the 2014 Eurovision Song Contest announced that Russia will not be allowed to participate in this year’s event. Eurovision spokeswoman Francine du Boeuf stated that: “We want to send a clear message to Russia that countries... More »
Review By Dan Geddes Uma Thurman …. The Bride/Black Mamba David Carradine …. Bill (Snake Charmer) Michael Madsen …. Budd (Sidewinder) Daryl Hannah …. Elle Driver (California Mountain Snake) Chia Hui Liu …. Johnny Mo/Pai Mei (as Go... More »