America's Most Critical Journal since 1999
WASHINGTON – The Pentagon announced today that the Islamic State (ISIS) has blown up two American battleships, the Maine and the Lusitania in the Gulf of Tonkin. Brigadier General Lance Boyle stated: “ISIS was very foolhardy in using weapons of mass destru... More »
By Dan Geddes The Vatican today stunned the world by declaring the European Union to be a saint, effectively immediately. Vatican spokesman Hermann Sisler declared: “More than any individual person in recent history, living or dead, the European Union has sp... More »
By Dan Geddes 1) The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want to talk to liberals. 2) He maketh me lie down in untaxed green pastures: he leadeth me to the clear waters of pro-Gun states where I can shoot deer or thieves as God intended; no one shall take my ... More »
By Dan Geddes WASHINGTON – The IRS today announced that it was cutting the top U.S. corporate income tax rate from 35% to 0% for qualifying companies, effective January 1st. IRS spokesman John Mendacio stated that: “This more favorable tax rate for the lar... More »
By Dan Geddes 19 August 2014 WASHINGTON – Top economists have recently recommended fighting a major war as the best means to solve the world’s six-year old economic crisis. Nobel-nominated economist Karl Strauss of the University of Chicago stated: ... More »
By Dan Geddes RIO DE JANEIRO – Billions of football fans across the world are incredibly happy about the month-long distraction from serious news during the World Cup tournament. “The fact that Russia might start invading Ukraine any minute now is simply n... More »
Review by Dan Geddes Cast Ralph Fiennes … M. Gustave Murray Abraham … Mr. Moustafa Mathieu Amalric … Serge X. Adrien Brody … Dmitri Willem Dafoe … Jopling Jeff Goldblum … Deputy Kovacs Harvey Keitel … Ludwig Jude Law &... More »
WASHINGTON – Federal Reserve chair Janet Yellen yesterday affirmed her confidence that the Federal Reserve Bank can “print dollars forever.” Yellen stated at the National Press Club: “The Federal Reserve can expand its balance sheet indefinitely. We ar... More »
WASHINGTON – The Washington Chronicle today publicly apologized for its 12 hour delay in publishing the story “Drone Attacks Kill Only Terrorists” yesterday. Yesterday, the Department of Defense had held a press conference asserting that: “No inn... More »
COPENHAGEN – Organizers of the 2014 Eurovision Song Contest announced that Russia will not be allowed to participate in this year’s event. Eurovision spokeswoman Francine du Boeuf stated that: “We want to send a clear message to Russia that countries... More »
Review By Dan Geddes Uma Thurman …. The Bride/Black Mamba David Carradine …. Bill (Snake Charmer) Michael Madsen …. Budd (Sidewinder) Daryl Hannah …. Elle Driver (California Mountain Snake) Chia Hui Liu …. Johnny Mo/Pai Mei (as Go... More »
By Dan Geddes WASHINGTON – The NSA has reportedly been overwhelmed by requests for copies of lost data from desperate individuals whose computer hard drives have crashed. Thousands of users worldwide who can no longer access their data have been begging ... More »