Old Normal:  You suck, New Normal.  Hotter temperatures, COVID, Taylor Swift…

New Normal:  Whoa, wait minute!  What’s wrong with Taylor Swift?

Old Normal:  C’mon, you want to compare her singing to Streisand’s?

New Normal:  Get with it, Old Normal.  Nowadays, singing isn’t just singing.

Old Normal:  Yeah, right.  And truth isn’t truth.  More of that crazy new Republican bullshit.

New Normal:  Hey, get used to it.  You’re going to have to live with those new guys for a while.

Old Normal:  And those new crazy-ass women are even worse. 

New Normal:  We don’t argue about politics these days.  Doesn’t get anyone anywhere.  

Old Normal:  Okay, let’s talk about something else…like today’s cars, which you have to be a computer geek to operate. 

New Normal:  You’re just too lazy to read the manual.  The new cars have all sorts of things to make your life easier.

Old Normal:  All I know is my life was a lot easier when I had knobs to turn instead of a screen with a million icons.  Hit the wrong one and you have to spend the rest of the day getting back to where you were.  And speaking of icons, today’s TV is just as bad.  Roku, Hulu, Whatever-lu…I don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about. 

New Normal:  What you’re complaining about is having more stuff to watch than ever before.

Old Normal:  Yeah, “stuff” is the right word…the housewives and bachelors of every goddamn city in the country…reality shows up the ass…movies that are so shitty, they go straight to TV…and all this junk costs a fucking fortune.

New Normal:  You’re just stuck in the past.  Like a lot of old fogies.

Old Normal:  Bullshit!  There are some new things I like.

New Normal:  Really?  Like what?

Old Normal:  Uhhh…

New Normal:  See?  You can’t think of one.

Old Normal:  Alright…I, er, like the new tight shorts the female tennis players and golfers wear.

New Normal:  That’s sick, you dirty Old Normal.  What are you, a pervert?

Old Normal:  Me?  How about you, salivating over Taylor Swift prancing around the stage practically nude.

New Normal:  She’s performing.  It’s called art.

Old Normal:  Oh, art.  I’m glad you brought that up.  Today, you could slap a coat of paint on a toilet bowl and some fool will pay a fortune for it.  And how about all that crappy computer art?

New Normal:  Oh, so now you don’t like computers either?

Old Normal:  I think computers are great…for hackers to empty bank accounts, shut down power grids, steal…

New Normal:  Wait a minute!  How about all the good things they do?  Like instant access to information.

Old Normal:  Who needs it?  I could wait till the evening news to find out how many hot dogs Joey Chestnut ate.  And don’t get me started on those goddamn cell phones.  Everybody walking along the street staring at them.  It’s like the night of the walking i-zombies.

New Normal:  Alright, so tell me, what was so great about you, Old Normal?

Old Normal:  John, Paul, George and Ringo.

New Normal:  Who?