by Martin H. Levinson

The coronavirus didn’t emerge accidentally from 5G wireless communication or a lab or wet market in China. It was the result of a planned criminal conspiracy hatched by a bunch of despicable characters. Here’s how it went down.

When President Trump took office in 2016 he stuck it to the Chinese with a trade policy that benefited us and killed them. Since we were their biggest customer they were stuck with the deal, which didn’t sit well with Chinese President Xi Jinping. So he called Nancy Pelosi and they arranged a lunch with Adam Schiff and Hillary Clinton at Pelosi’s favorite restaurant, The Politically Correct Bar and Grill, a vegan, pansexual outpost in the Castro District of San Francisco where meat is marginalized and kale and socially responsible smoothies are served all day to an elitist clientele.

Xi poured his guts out to his liberal tablemates, explaining how Trump was strangling the Chinese economy and if he kept it up the Chinese would have to stop stealing American technology and would have to lower tariffs on American-made goods. If this happened, he told them, the American public would view Trump as a great negotiator and reelect him president in 2020. That didn’t sit well with Hillary, who wasn’t sitting that well anyway, as the cushion of the chair she was sitting on was badly worn, which caused her to lean to the right, a direction that instinctively repulsed her.

Crazy Hillary proposed a two-pronged attack to weaken Trump. The first prong would be for Pelosi and Schiff to bring Trump up on impeachment charges, using any silly allegation, which would keep him distracted from protecting the American people. The second prong would be for Xi to unleash a biological weapon on the United States that wouldn’t kill everyone but would kill enough, particularly the old and infirm, as people are very sensitive to the needs of those two groups. With all the impeachment stuff happening, Trump wouldn’t be able to focus on ways to fight the pandemic and America’s economy would cave. They all agreed this was a good plan and after Pelosi paid for the meal, with her DNC credit card, they returned to their offices to put the scheme into effect.

Pelosi and Schiff convinced their deep state, radical, socialist colleagues to impeach Trump on made-up charges, which he was rightfully acquitted of by righteous, right-minded, Republicans who regard wrongful accusations as rotten to the core. In the meantime, Chinese biologists created the Covid-19 coronavirus, which they injected into bats that were flown into pigs that were stampeded into crowds lining the curbs of Wuhan during a parade to honor the Chinese invention of paper, gunpowder, and one-sided trade agreements that screw American workers. Afterwards, a number of those spectators were put into planes and flown to lots of cities in the U.S. to infect as many folks as they could with the coronavirus. Due to layovers, delays, and missed flights the rest of the world became collateral damage.

As we now know, America’s economy did cave but you can’t blame President Trump for that. He has said over and over again that he wants America back up and open for business and it’s only a gaggle of know-it-all scientists and a group of crazy governors that is preventing this from happening. If it were up to Trump, people would be on the job right now getting herd immunity.

We need to teach the Chinese and Democrats a lesson at the polls in November. Let’s reward their double dealing and dastardly dishonesty with a sound electoral thumping. Please forward this message to as many people as you can and stay safe out there. I’ve heard a caravan filled with murder-hornets, Muslims, and Mexican rapists, which was funded by a cartel made up of members of the editorial board of the New York Times, the Squad, abortion doctors, Hollywood stars, the FBI, the CIA, and other bad people, is heading our way.