Notes from the Gender-Neutral Pronoun Assignment Committee

Monday, April 1st, 2019

Published 6 years ago -


DATE: January 11, 2019 according to the Christian white-male calendar

Jumada Al-Awwal 5 according to Hijri

Pa’n Mekher in the Peret Season

Dec. 12, Wu Xu Year, Year of the Dog, according to the Nongli

 

Danni B., CHAIR: exciting news, actor Kate Hudson will raise recent offspring according to gender-neutral principals, referring to him/her as his/her “theybee” (sometimes spelled “theybei”).

Monroe S.: parents have choices re upbringing of offspring, re: education, religion, suggests adding the synonym “HEESH-O” as alternative/replacement to “they/their” when referring to a person who wishes to forgo gender binary norms in favor of spectrum of fluidity. Explanation: “HEESH-O,” being singular, defuses confusion re: how many persons are being referenced.  Further, it encapsulates all potential identifications, male, female (“he” “she” becomes “heesh” and “or” becomes “o”)

Betsbob A: what is connection between the “theybee” parenting movement and discussion of pronoun “they” when referring to a person of gender non-specificity? Lost.

Dani B.: “they” is fuster-cluck confusing, when I was a sapien offspring, everyone knew that basic grammar included pronoun-person-singular-plural agreement.

LooLooLaLarry: “HEESH-O” incorporates sexist preference for placing male-referencing pronoun-consonant before female-referencing pronoun-consonant.  Better alternative is “SHEHEEOW.”  Because “she” followed by “he” is self-explanatory.  “O” means either “or” or “other.” The “w” at the end of the proposed gender pronoun refers to “whatever” and/or “whoever.”

Betsbob A: I suggest “SHIM” for “him/her.”

Danni B: I prefers “HERIM.”

Betsbob A. What about “MISH” and/or “HIMMER”?

committee

GraagraLUSHNAAAAA: female-identifying females whose female gender was assigned to they by a white male doctor based on female-appearing genitals at birth, such a person should be called “GENGEN,” a shorthand for “genital-assigned gender” rather than “she” or “her.”  Further suggested that male-identifying males whose male gender was assigned to they at birth based on male-appearing genitals at birth, a better pronoun would be:  “PENDICK,” a short hand for “penis” and “dick,” wherein the while male doctor who attended at the birth of such a person went by the name “Dick.”

LooLooLaLarry:  suggests gender neutral pronoun “SHITFORBRAINS.“ Joke.

GraagraLUSHNAAAAA:  Well, in that case, I’m going to start calling you Gerald, because that’s your real name, Gerald Richard Johnson, Jr.  Remember? That thing we did? Back when?

LooLooLaLarry: Fuch zei.

Danni B: They have PTSD. Four-letter terms trigger them. They is having a lot of feelings.  Feelings are human/and/or non-human, animal, mineral, etc. Not binary. Fluidity. Spectrum. Pangender; nongender; multigender; trigender; cisgender inclusivity.

Vagii Pee: change to the term “intersex,” which itself replaced the term “hermaphrodite” with the term “VAGGIIPEE.”

Betsbob A. Ze can kiss my labia-nuts.

LooLooLaLarry: full disclosure.

Tits-and-Bits: sex positivity. How does gender neutral language influence decreasing stigma, sex positive politics, safe spaces, consensual contracting, public health, etc.?

GraagraLUSHNAAAAA: off-subject, need to stay with stated mission of committee meeting: re: gender neutral pronouns.

Tits-and-Bits: important to study short-and-long-term repercussions of language choice esp. re: intersectionality, lbtgq tgif wtf movement(s)/

Betsbob A:  Proposes term “UNIGENDERED” to replace “cisgendered.”

Danni B., Chair:  committee’s mission is pronouns, the Committee To Gender-Related Non-Pronoun Specific Terminology is responsible for such items: examples: “crossliving” “homo-cist,” “biphobia,” etc.

Danni B. Chair:  We’re running out of clock time.

Motion to vote on adopting SHIM fails, tabled for further discussion

Motion to vote on adopting HERIM fails, tabled for further discussion

Motion to vote on adopting MISH fails, tabled for further discussion

Motion to vote on adopting HIMMER fails, tabled for further discussion

Motion to vote on adopting HEESHO fails, tabled for further discussion.

Motion to vote on SHEHEEOW fails, tabled for further discussion.

Motion to vote on GENGEN fails, tabled for further discussion.

Motion to vote on PENDICK fails, tabled for further discussion.

Motion to vote on spending small sums for they refreshment passes.

Group adjourns for coffee and mixed donut holes at Dunkin’ Donuts. Cost:  $23.44.   Prudent reserved: $49.11.


Get the book! The Satirist - America's Most Critical Book (Volume 1)



Online Ads

Amazon Ads

Note: The Satirist participates in the Amazon Associates program, and thus may earn small amounts of money if you follow the links below and ultimately purchase a product during the same sessions.

32 recommended
comments icon 0 comments
0 notes
1051 views
bookmark icon

Write a comment...

Skip to toolbar