By Mollie Fermaglich

3 June 2016

“Please, sir – I’d like some more… Delegates.”

Though not quite as catchy as “The Internationale,” please share my new campaign song with everyone you know, so I can share the billions of dollars hoarded by the right-wing Wall Street investment bankers and George Clooney, with everyone who wants to do nothing. –Bernie Sanders

“He’d Do Anything”
(to the tune of “I’d Do Anything”  from OLIVER!)

I’d do anything
Give free stuff, everything
Provide for everything
For you…
You know that…
I am just like you
I too hate the Jews
Though I’m Hebrew too
Don’t tell the goyim…

CHORUS

 I’m a senator – from Vermont
What’s the whitest state ?– it’s Vermont
Full of old hippies – that’s Vermont
They all look like me–I love Vermont and
And you should…

 Screw that college loan
How could you have known
Why it’s called a “loan”?
But maybe…

You just might have thought
The film degree that you bought
It sure cost your folks a lot
And you’re not Spielberg…

 CHORUS

You millenials  – that’s my base
Scary Tea Party – everyplace
Hill and Bill Clinton – big disgrace
Raul and Fidel  – we’ll embrace
Love those Cohibas…

If you vote for me
Vote for me, I’m Bernie
Don’t trust “Ms. Benghazi”
Just ask Vince Foster….
I’m a millionaire
My wife’s got long blonde hair
She’s shaped like a Bosc pear
Or maybe a Bartlett…

 CHORUS

California’s soon – vote for me
We can win another primar
I’ve got to be your nominee
Fuck all of the bourgeoisie.

 I want to be…

Your next president
I’ll help you to pay your rent
By taxing the one-percent
They’re really evil…

Can’t stand Alan Dershowitz
That Netanyahu – he’s the pits
John Bolton – he should quit
They all love Israel

CHORUS

Love the PLO – I’m a Jew
Dig Al Qedea – they forgot the “u”
Love Hamas, they’ve a cool point of view
I’m a Marxist guy – I’ll be your guru

So on Election Day
Make sure you don’t betray
I’m Bernie, I’m just like Che
But I am living

Help me win the primary
Please don’t be an absentee
If I win, everything’s free
Need a new flat screen TV????????