America's Most Critical Journal since 1999
“Ireland must reassess military power” —Simon Coveney In the absence of Seamus Heaney, if Ireland is to be renowned for anything other than bog water, cabbage and our negligible corporate tax rate, we must invest in at least one intercontinental ballisti... More »
by God (David Comfort, Secretary) Since the Almighty knew that a good man is hard to find and that many are called but few chosen, He created the following document, but His son declined to use it, fearing it might discourage well-intentioned Salvation volunte... More »
By Martin H. Levinson Everyone likes Happy Hour with its cheap drinks, free appetizers, and the opportunity it provides to socialize with friends and associates. But the label is kind of boring and does not consider specific motivations that might draw people ... More »
By Tim Koechlin “Not only do we have the DC jail which is the DC gulag, but now we have Nancy Pelosi’s gazpacho police spying on members of Congress, spying on the legislative work that we do, spying on our staff and spying on American citizens.” —... More »
FADE IN In a restaurant just this side of Oslo, a middle-aged American couple sit cozy by a crackling fireplace. MADGE David, this julekake bread is marvelous. DAVID It’s correctly pronounced yul-ya-kawk-ya. And that resinous fragrance is cardamom. Tr... More »
By James Klein Grand Rapids, Michigan – Proud homeowner Mary Davidson used a tranquilizer dart to anesthetize her neighbor, Arnold O’Malley, before dragging him into her house. She shackled O’Malley to her newly installed island counter and held him ... More »
by Jen Freymond Not worth the price! For what my grandparents paid for me to attend this “therapeutic” boarding school, I would have expected a more comfortable, educational experience. First of all, I’m confused about what constitutes a “therapeutic... More »
By Casey Alexander Day 1 Lately I’ve become wayward; there’s a layer of grime on my soul. A lack of progress, a certain stagnation. An unsettling realization: I have ceased to be my own hero. Plus I have a three-day weekend coming up and no particular plan... More »
Writer: Paul Lander Artist: Dan McConnell “Looks like just the place I need.” Paul Lander is a TV comedy writer, award-winning columnist and producer. His humor pieces have appeared in MAD, American Bystander, Weekly Humorist, McSweeneys, Nationa... More »