Month

June 2018

All posts published in June 2018

15 posts

Talk Dirty to Me, Harmony

Published 7y ago -

“Harmony has software that remembers birthdays and can quote Shakespeare. . . . Harmony is also equipped for intimate human-robot relations. Sex doll maker Realbotix, in its marketing materials, bills Harmony as ‘the perfect companion.’” —Ben Guarino... More »

Defeat Low Self-Esteem!

Published 7y ago -

Self-esteem is the opinion you have of yourself. If that opinion is low, you will have problems getting motivated and being successful. Fortunately, a poor sense of self-esteem can be reversed. In fact, it can’t survive if you follow these six suggestions. D... More »

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The President Invites You to a Pardon Party!

Published 7y ago -

We’re having a very special party in the Rose Garden. The date isn’t finally set just yet, but we’re reading applications now.  Send us a letter telling us what you did in 200 words or less, and the President himself will decide if you qualify for a pre... More »

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Trump and Kim: The Unedited Transcript

Published 7y ago -

“Trump to meet KJU one-one-one with only interpreters. An unacceptable danger to US national security . . .NSC should have TRANSCRIPT of all interactions with brutal, nuclear armed dictator.”—Retired U.S. Army general Barry McCaffrey on Twitter, June 11 ... More »

Little Trumpie Runs Amok At Mar-a-Lago

Published 7y ago -

Brian Alexander, who earned the Eagle [Scout] rank as a teenager . . . said he was also outraged after seeing clips of Mr. Trump’s speech [at the Boy Scout Jamboree]. . . . ‘Based on my experience with Scouting, the point is you’re supposed to grow up to... More »

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Dutch Propose Dutch as Official EU Language after Brexit

Published 7y ago -

By Dan Geddes AMSTERDAM – Jan Smit, 44, Member of the European Parliament (MEP), proposed yesterday that Dutch should become the new official language of the EU after Brexit finally takes place next year. “It can’t be German,” said Smit, “for semi-ob... More »

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Heavy Drinker is Sure He’s No Alcoholic

Published 7y ago -

LAS VEGAS – Ray Milland, 45, a self-proclaimed “heavy drinker” is very sure that he’s not an alcoholic. Mr. Milland, an executive for the United Beverage Company was recently interviewed by Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), after Milland had Tweeted that: “... More »

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I Was Adolf Hitler’s House Plant

Published 7y ago -

People often ask me: “How could you stand to have been the begonia of the most hated man in the world?”  But what did I know?  I was young: all I thought about was growing the waxiest leaves, the plumpest petals. I won’t even claim I was following orde... More »

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